"On air. On sea. On land. Still the Internet's greatest wargame simulation."
Petting Zoo III
| Deity: | Doug Wescott (Bungholio) Tom Johnson (Ski) |
| Start Date: | November 1, 2004 |
| End Date: | January 11, 2005 (71 days) |
| Code used: | 4.2.18 |
| Winner(s): | FarFarAway, Partimers |
October 16, 2004
Bungholio is pleased to announce that registrations for Petting Zoo Three are now being accepted. Players of all skill levels are invited to play.
Official Game Webpage:
http://www.angelfire.com/empire2/bungholio/PettingZooThree_GameSettings.html
HOW TO REGISTER:
Send email to: empire_bungholio @ verizon.net with:
Subject: Empire PZ3
Country Name: (limited to 15 characters and must start with an alpha character a-z/A-Z)
Password: (limited to 15 characters)
Map Selection: (choose from Rock/Paper/Scissors/Random-deity-selection)
Email Address: (preferred email addresses)
Co-Ruler Info: (if you would like to have a co-ruler be informed of any game info via email)
GAME DETAILS:
EMPIREHOST: sheepfarm.game-host.org
EMPIREPORT: 6666
Registration Begins: 20:00 (EST) FRI 15 OCT 2004
Registration Ends: 23:59 (EST) SUN 31 OCT 2004
Game Opens: ~00:01 (EST) TUE 02 NOV 2004
First Update: 03:00 (EST) THU 04 NOV 2004
Update Schedule: 1 Update / 28 hours - until Nov 25th, then: 1 Update / 42 hours
Game will skip updates for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's, please see the update schedule posted at the official game website.
Game Highlights:
1) Players get choice from 3 formats of Start Continents, each with a mixture of industrial, plains, and mountains, and each having benefits/vulnerabilities. Start Continents have 55 total sectors. 10-12 sectors of water between start islands.
2) Uniform resources on Start Continents. Industrial Sectors have 50 minerals, 25 oil, 0 gold, and 50 uranium. Plains have zero resources. Mountains are the only source for dust, and have 75 gold.
3) Gorenew enabled.
4) Market is enabled, but the time to sell for Market and Trade is 10 hours to reduce "Market Abuses".
5) There are expansion islands, players will have to search for them. And they are defended. Resources on expansion islands are less than what was on the start continents. They will be a bit more various in size, location, and defenses.
6) There may be some Oil at sea.
7) No food. This reduces micromanagement and removes an early fodder indicator.
8) Rolling Avail, with 300 roll-over.
9) Tech at log base 3.00, all bleed (80%).
10) Plague is enabled (to model the upcoming 2004-2005 Influenza Pandemic due to the flu vaccine shortage this year).
11) Game code is standard 4.2.18 with standard units/planes/ships lists, but units have 1/2 mob gain and 1/2 max mob from standard, and planes have max mob of 100.
12) Deity will NOT be playing.
13) Countries start with 4 sanctuaries, to get the game started quicker, but civ growth is reduced [from 30%] to 20% (so that plague and shelling/bombing civs are painful in the event that these occur).
14) All players start with 3/3/3/3 for Edu/Tech/Happy/Research levels.
15) Deity will not ask for player's "rank", as I will be treating all players equally.
16) Deity is requiring a minimum of 8 players for the game, this is so that players who think that they might want to play, but don't want to get stuck in a tiny game will have an out in the event that the minimum game roster is not met.
Start Continent Choices (Rock/Paper/Scissors):
(note these look better on the webpage or in courier font)
ROCK:
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~ + + + ~ . . . . . . . . . + + + + + + . . . . . . . . ^ + + . + + ^ . . . . . . . + + . + + . + + . . . . . . ~ + + + ^ + + + ~ . . . . . . + + . + + . + + . . . . . . . + + + . + + + . . . . . . . . + + + + + + . . . . . . . . . ~ + ^ + ~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
PAPER:
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ^ + + + ^ . . . . . . . . . . + + + + + . . . . . . . . . . ~ + + + ~ . . . . . . . . . . + + + + + . . . . . . . . . . + + + + + . . . . . . . . . . ~ + + + ~ . . . . . . . . . . + + + + + . . . . . . . . . . + + + + + . . . . . . . . . . ~ + + + ~ . . . . . . . . . . + + + + + . . . . . . . . . . ^ + + + ^ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
SCISSORS:
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . + + . . . . . . . . . . . . . + + . . . . . . . . . . . . . + + . . . . . . . . . . . . . + + . . . . . . . . . . . . . + + . . . . . . . . . . . . . + + . . . . . . . . ~ ~ . . + + + . . . . . . . . ^ . ^ + + + + + + + + + + + . . + + + + + + + + + + + + + . . . . . ^ + + + . . . . . . . . . . . . + + . . . . . . . . . . . . . + ^ . . . . . . . . . . . . . + . ~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . ^ ~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
NOTE: YOUR ACTUAL MAP MAY ROTATE +/-60degrees OR FLIP 180degrees or BOTH.
Win Conditions:
None. There are no pre-set win conditions for this game. You are at the mercy of your peers to come to a reasonable agreement for what would be a fair endgame scenario.
Version Report:
Empire 4.2.18
(KSU distribution 1.04, Chainsaw version 4.00, Wolfpack version 2.18)
The following parameters have been set for this game:
World size is [approx] ((50*25) x num_of_playaz)
There can be up to 99 countries.
By default, countries use their own coordinate system.
An Empire time unit is 1680 seconds long.
Use the 'update' command to find out the time of the next update.
The current time is Wed Oct 13 20:47:24.
An update consists of 60 empire time units.
Each country is allowed to be logged in 1200 minutes a day.
It takes 6.67 civilians to produce a BTU in one time unit.
A non-aggi, 100 fertility sector can grow 0.12 food per etu.
1000 civilians will harvest 1.3 food per etu.
1000 civilians will give birth to 3.3 babies per etu.
1000 uncompensated workers will give birth to 2.5 babies.
In one time unit, 1000 people eat 0.5 units of food.
1000 babies eat 6.0 units of food becoming adults.
No food is needed!!
Banks pay $250.00 in interest per 1000 gold bars per etu.
1000 civilians generate $8.33, uncompensated workers $1.78 each time unit.
1000 active military cost $83.33, reserves cost $8.33.
Up to 300 avail can roll over an update.
Happiness p.e. requires 1 happy stroller per 10000 civ.
Education p.e. requires 1 class of graduates per 10000 civ.
Happiness is averaged over 96 time units.
Education is averaged over 192 time units.
The technology/research boost you get from the world is 80.00%.
Nation levels (tech etc.) decline 1% every 96 time units.
Tech Buildup is limited to logarithmic growth (base 3.00) after 1.00.
Sectors Ships Planes Units
Maximum mobility 127 127 100 63
Max mob gain per update 60 90 60 30
Max eff gain per update -- 100 100 60
Ships on autonavigation may use 6 cargo holds per ship.
Trade-ships that go at least 5 sectors get a return of 3.5% per sector.
Trade-ships that go at least 20 sectors get a return of 4.0% per sector.
Trade-ships that go at least 30 sectors get a return of 4.5% per sector.
Cashing in trade-ships with an ally nets you a 5.0% bonus.
Cashing in trade-ships with an ally nets your ally a 5.0% bonus.
The tax you pay on selling things on the trading block is 10.0%
The tax you pay on buying commodities on the market is 10.0%
Fire ranges are scaled by 1.00
Options enabled in this game:
ALL_BLEED, BRIDGETOWERS, DEMANDUPDATE, EASY_BRIDGES, FALLOUT,
GODNEWS, GO_RENEW, INTERDICT_ATT, LANDSPIES, LOANS, MARKET, NEUTRON,
NOFOOD, NOMOBCOST, NUKEFAILDETONATE, ORBIT, PINPOINTMISSILE, SAIL,
SHIPNAMES, SHOWPLANE, TECH_POP, TRADESHIPS, TREATIES, UPDATESCHED
Options disabled in this game:
BIG_CITY, BLITZ, DEFENSE_INFRA, DRNUKE, FUEL, HIDDEN, LOSE_CONTACT,
MOB_ACCESS, NO_FORT_FIRE, NO_HCMS, NO_LCMS, NO_OIL, NO_PLAGUE,
NONUKES, RES_POP, SLOW_WAR, SNEAK_ATTACK, SUPER_BARS,
"info Options" for a detailed list of options and descriptions
The person to annoy if something goes wrong is:
Bungholio
(empire_bungholio @ verizon.net).
You can get your own copy of the source using:
ftp://ftp.wolfpackempire.com/pub/empire/server or
http://www.wolfpackempire.com/
I plan to set up a few small practice blitzes next week (~Oct 18 - 22) so players can verify their connections and practice on the variants of start continents. I'll post more info on the test blitzes to RGE when I get this set up.
Basic Differences From PZ2:
System Info:
Celeron 366
256MB RAM
10GB HDD
Win2K
DSL 1.5M/384k
15" SVGA Color Monitor!
500VA UPS
Deity Credentials: Bungholio has been playing actively for approx 7 years. He has a good understanding of game balance and interest in designing the game for fairness.
NOTICE: INFORMATION CONTAINED HERE IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE PRIOR TO THE START OF THE GAME. IT IS THE PLAYER'S RESPONSIBILITY TO VERIFY THE ACTUAL GAME'S SETTINGS. DEITY IS MAKING A BEST EFFORT TO RELAY INTENDED GAME CONFIGURATION, AND DOES NOT PLAN ON MAKING ANY MAJOR DEVIATIONS TO THESE PUBLISHED PARAMETERS, BUT SOME MINOR CHANGES WILL LIKELY RESULT TO ADJUST FOR PLAYER BASE, ETC.
Blue coloring on countries in the power charts indicates the eventual winners of the game.
One week after start, November 11th, 2004
We've had 6 updates so far in the third instantiation of the Petting Zoo series of games. This iteration has seen the most combat action so far this early on due to the defensive capabilities of the expansion island protector, Terminator. Terminator occupies all expansion islands, and he packs a punch in protecting them. Players so far have encountered mils, planes, and units. Some players have successfully (luckily?) captured some Terminator planes, shells, and petrols (while not able to build any of these items themselves, yet) while capturing his territory.
The tech leaders (it is log base 3 with 80% bleed) are able to build Troop Transports to get their mils onto the battlefield against Termy.
- = [ Empire Power Report ] = -
as of Wed Nov 10 21:21:21 2004
sects eff civ mil shell gun pet iron dust oil pln ship unit money
PCLoadLet 70 38% 12K 150 0 0 0 1.7K 250 100 1 10 0 15K
Dorsai! 60 47% 12K 100 0 0 0 2.6K 650 150 0 6 0 10K
Hegemon 55 44% 12K 200 0 0 0 2.0K 450 400 0 2 0 10K
Nova 55 57% 12K 100 0 0 0 1.8K 350 150 0 2 0 20K
beep 75 43% 12K 350 7 0 7 1.2K 350 200 1 20 0 10K
RimFire 65 40% 12K 200 5 0 5 2.0K 300 200 1 8 0 15K
Sunnydale 65 41% 11K 400 13 0 13 1.6K 350 150 1 5 0 10K
Shakespea 70 49% 12K 550 4 0 4 2.3K 350 150 1 10 0 10K
Partimers 70 38% 12K 550 0 0 0 1.6K 350 50 0 20 0 10K
EmpireKin 70 42% 12K 200 7 0 7 1.4K 200 250 2 6 0 10K
Harlot 70 45% 12K 350 8 0 8 1.7K 350 100 1 20 0 10K
Waswas 75 37% 12K 250 10 0 10 1.7K 350 50 2 20 0 20K
ULKH 55 48% 12K 150 0 0 0 1.8K 250 150 0 7 0 20K
Tiki 55 52% 11K 200 0 0 0 2.0K 150 100 0 6 0 15K
Leutonia 55 46% 7.0K 200 0 0 0 1.5K 300 100 0 5 0 15K
wales 50 98% 11K 50 0 0 0 2.5K 150 400 0 1 0 25K
Johnnylan 55 64% 7.8K 250 0 0 0 3.0K 150 350 0 0 0 30K
Anguiron 55 58% 6.3K 200 0 0 0 950 0 650 0 0 0 20K
--- ---- ---- ---- --- --- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
worldwide 1.1K 48% 197K 4.5K 50 0 50 33K 5.3K 3.6K 10 140 0 280K
This is proving to be a bloody scenario. Players are forced to make a hard trade off between tech growth and expansion due to the high cost of maintaining any sort of military to put the smack down on Termy.
Petting Zoo Three is hosted at: sheepfarm.game-host.org:6666, with Deities Bungholio and Ski. The voyer^H^H^H^H^H visitor portal is available.
The official PZ3 game webpage is now:
http://www.angelfire.com/empire2/bungholio/PettingZooThree.html
If you would like to be added to the "replacement players" list or the "temporary sub" list, send an email to empire_bungholio @ verizon.net saying such (incase an opening comes up).
The Shagger Lord,
Bungholio
Two weeks after start, November 17th, 2004
We're now 12 updates into the fun, and players have had a busy week battling Terminator to claim expansion territory. The expansion leaders have had to make a sacrifice on their tech growth for this precious land. Meanwhile, all 18 of the original countries still own their start continents.
The tech leaders are now able to build warships and infantry units. Players have been turning on the guns and shell production, but have not utilized them too much, yet.
- = [ Empire Power Report ] = -
as of Wed Nov 17 22:22:22 2004
sects eff civ mil shell gun pet iron dust oil pln ship unit money
Harlot 125 60% 33K 400 125 0 100 3.5K 550 950 0 30 10 4.4K
Sunnydale 70 85% 32K 800 325 30 50 5.1K 350 350 1 10 0 5.0K
PCLoadLet 85 66% 34K 900 350 40 350 5.0K 350 250 5 30 6 2.9K
beep 125 52% 31K 1.3K 200 35 25 4.7K 500 1.3K 9 40 0 1.5K
Dorsai! 75 74% 34K 550 525 50 1.3K 8.2K 750 850 2 10 0 5.0K
Nova 70 81% 36K 800 375 65 0 3.5K 350 500 0 10 10 5.0K
Hegemon 60 84% 35K 650 250 30 450 3.4K 350 1.1K 0 10 6 15K
EmpireKin 70 89% 36K 200 175 20 6 4.7K 250 1.3K 2 5 8 5.0K
RimFire 85 76% 32K 300 325 55 150 3.9K 250 350 1 20 0 2.4K
Shakespea 100 63% 32K 1.1K 350 35 4 4.8K 350 500 4 50 4 1
Partimers 110 57% 31K 1.5K 300 40 3 4.7K 350 350 4 30 10 1.1K
ULKH 75 68% 34K 750 275 20 1 4.0K 350 700 3 30 2 20K
Waswas 125 49% 31K 1.4K 125 25 100 3.8K 400 150 5 40 10 4.3K
Tiki 65 78% 29K 900 50 5 0 5.0K 400 1.8K 0 10 4 1.0K
wales 60 88% 31K 300 125 4 3 3.0K 400 1.9K 1 4 0 15K
Johnnylan 55 85% 22K 650 200 25 0 4.4K 200 850 0 0 0 447
Leutonia 55 49% 13K 300 0 0 0 2.6K 850 450 0 6 0 15K
Anguiron 55 68% 11K 300 50 4 0 1.6K 350 1.8K 0 1 0 20K
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
worldwide 1.5K 68% 535K 13K 4.2K 490 2.6K 76K 7.4K 16K 40 330 70 120K
Tonight we just finished the "guess how many of each type of start islands
there are" contest, and Partimers won 12 bars. There are:
Rocks: 6
Papers: 4
Scissors: 8
Deity's favorite announcement:
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Fri Nov 12 21:04:51 2004 Never mind the 20 mil in the mountains, who put the arty and the planes in the mountains? If I didn't know better, I'd wonder if the diety was undertaking some psych grad student thesis project assessing how masochistic empire players can be. Hmmmm....makes me wonder. Cracker Jack Empire? No, Leather Empire seems more fitting. It sure doesn't have that merino wool feel anymore.Petting Zoo Three is hosted at: sheepfarm.game-host.org:6666, with Deities Bungholio and Ski. The visitor account is available.
The official PZ3 game webpage is:
http://www.angelfire.com/empire2/bungholio/PettingZooThree.html
If you would like to be added to the "replacement players" list or the "temporary sub" list (in the event an opening comes up), send an email to empire_bungholio @ verizon.net saying such.
The Shaggdaddy,
Bungholio
Four weeks after start, November 26th, 2004
We've now completed the third week of PZ3. It was the busiest week yet, as players reached max pop on their start islands, had their minima in their budgets, continued the Terminator smackdown, and began working on each other. Harlot held the #1 position on the power chart all week, as she continued her dominance. The tech leaders are able to build a variety of propeller fighter aircraft and bombers,
and a transport/cargo plane.
We've had 4 cap sacks this past week. Right after update #15, Harlot scored the first one, sacking Anguiron. Sixteen minutes later, FarFarAway (name changed from WasWas) sacked Hegemon (who then changed name to RapedByFFA). Then after update #18, Partimers sacked RapedByFFA, and FarFarAway sacked wales to
score his second sack.
Battles are breaking out. The largest so far being between Harlot and beep, when beep tried to jump Harlot's claim on Anguiron. The next largest is FarFarAway and Partimers working together on taking the RapedByFFA continent. Meanwhile, FarFarAway has troops working on wales. The EmpireKing has had his satellite islands picked off by PCLoadLetter and Shakespeare, while EK continues to dig in, we can almost hear the wolves salivating. Shakespeare has made a beach head on Jonnyland, I don't think he's planning on making a luxury resort there. The small skirmish between RimFire and ULKH over an outpost has cooled off a bit.
(News from the past 3 weeks)
beep seized eighty sectors from Terminator Harlot seized seventy-nine sectors from Terminator FarFarAway seized sixty-three sectors from Terminator Partimers seized sixty sectors from Terminator Harlot seized fifty-three sectors from Anguiron Shakespeare seized fifty-three sectors from Terminator FarFarAway seized forty-nine sectors from RapedByFFA RimFire seized forty sectors from Terminator PCLoadLetter seized twenty-seven sectors from Terminator Dorsai! seized twenty-five sectors from Terminator ULKH seized twenty-five sectors from Terminator Partimers seized twenty-four sectors from RapedByFFA Sunnydale seized twenty-four sectors from Terminator FarFarAway seized twenty-two sectors from wales beep seized twenty-one sectors from Anguiron Tiki seized sixteen sectors from Terminator Nova seized fourteen sectors from Terminator EmpireKing seized fourteen sectors from Terminator Leutonia seized twelve sectors from Terminator Shakespeare seized ten sectors from Johnnyland PCLoadLetter seized eight sectors from EmpireKing Shakespeare captured seven sectors from EmpireKing wales captured seven sectors from Terminator FarFarAway captured six sectors from RimFire Harlot captured six sectors from beep Shakespeare captured five sectors from Tiki Leutonia took three sectors from Tiki RapedByFFA took three sectors from Terminator wales took two sectors from Sunnydale Shakespeare took two sectors from Partimers RimFire stole one sector from ULKH Harlot stole one sector from EmpireKingThe Terminator is a NPC, setup as the protector of the expansion territory. His intended function was simple, to make players have to earn their expansion territory. But he proved to add more to the game than initially planned, as he served as a buffer between countries (or was it a distraction?) and as a trainer for players to figure out how to take down a lightly defended island (and maybe as a lesson for how even putting up a small defense would slow the progress of an aggressor). His defenses were fairly minimal, typically a half dozen mils on the coast (more inland), and a small reacting unit or a lightly loaded ART. Terminator had some interdicting airplanes, just enough to be an annoyance, not too many to kill everything on sight. In the beginning, Termy was getting over 200 telegrams a day, now it's slowed to a trickle of barely a dozen a day.
- = [ Empire Power Report ] = -
as of Fri Nov 26 09:02:10 2004
sects eff civ mil shell gun pet iron dust oil pln ship unt money
Harlot 190 90% 99K 4.3K 1.6K 250 5.3K 9.3K 850 4.5K 0 60 30 10K
FarFarAwa 195 82% 106K 4.8K 575 170 2.6K 6.3K 1.1K 2.6K 20 50 50 5.0K
Partimers 155 82% 97K 2.6K 1.4K 185 2.0K 8.3K 450 250 20 70 40 10K
beep 135 84% 73K 3.3K 1.4K 175 1.7K 9.1K 400 1.7K 10 80 40 5.0K
Shakespea 140 83% 78K 3.6K 1.3K 180 2.9K 6.0K 450 300 8 80 50 1.3K
PCLoadLet 100 93% 70K 2.6K 800 180 5.0K 6.1K 500 250 10 40 20 10K
Sunnydale 85 95% 63K 3.0K 1.9K 280 850 7.0K 500 900 4 50 20 3.9K
RimFire 100 98% 68K 2.1K 1.0K 210 1.3K 6.0K 700 900 6 30 20 5.0K
Nova 90 94% 70K 1.8K 1.2K 180 4.5K 4.9K 350 1.1K 20 20 20 5.0K
Dorsai! 90 89% 61K 1.9K 2.2K 195 4.3K 8.4K 900 1.8K 20 30 10 5
ULKH 85 84% 55K 2.5K 1.3K 130 950 4.8K 400 500 30 50 20 25K
Tiki 70 98% 57K 1.5K 375 50 1.6K 3.5K 200 4.8K 1 10 7 20K
EmpireKin 55 100% 45K 3.0K 1.1K 155 100 10K 250 1.9K 0 3 60 15K
Leutonia 75 80% 37K 750 625 75 1.8K 4.8K 350 500 7 20 20 2.7K
wales 45 86% 30K 900 500 55 9 5.2K 300 2.5K 1 20 0 15K
Johnnylan 45 86% 23K 350 325 90 1.1K 1.6K 250 950 3 4 0 15K
RapedByFF 2 100% 1.6K 250 0 5 0 700 0 0 0 6 0 10K
Anguiron 0 0% 0 33 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 4 0 10K
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
worldwide 1.7K 88% 1.0M 39K 18K 2.6K 36K 102K 8.0K 25K 150 640 390 160K
The game is now having a small breather/break, to allow players toDeity's favorite announcement (there's something about good old-
school metal coupled with this guy's ability to troll) :
>Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Wed Nov 24 01:28:25 2004 ATTETION ALL COUTRYS:: IT HAS COME TO MY ATTETION THAT MY NATION IS NOW REGARD AS SO-CALL "IRON KING" DUE TO FACT THAT I REACH 10K IRON FIRST! THIS SHALL BE A WRANING TO ALL COUNTRY SUPPOSED TO ATTACK. HEAVY IRONS ONLY RESUL IN YOU SHIP SINKS< AND MANY CRIES FOR YOU SO_CALL "ELITE PREMIUM" LANDING UNITS!! AS OZZY OZ BURN SAID: "I - AM - IRON KING SHOOT ALL INTERUDERS - WITH MY SHELLS RUNNING - AS FAST AS THEY CAN ALL OTHER COUNTRY ARE SO SCARED." YOU HAVE BEEN WRANED!!!!'Petting Zoo Three is hosted at: sheepfarm.game-host.org:6666, with Deities Bungholio and Ski. The visitor account is available.
The official PZ3 game webpage is:
http://www.angelfire.com/empire2/bugholio/PettingZooThree.html
If you would like to be added to the "replacement players" list or the "temporary sub" list (in the event an opening comes up), send an email to empire_bungholio @ verizon.net saying such.
The ShaggMeister,
Bungholio
Seven weeks after start, December 16th, 2004
A long overdue post by the Deity, it's been [almost] 3 weeks since my last post on the progress of the Petting Zoo Three game. We're now 29 updates into the fun. Since my last posting, there have been 6 more players completely eliminated from the game: RapedByFFA (formerly Hedgemon), Johnnyland, Tiki, wales, EmpireKing, and Sunnydale. Harlot, who has held the top spot in the power chart for the past 19
updates, has been de-throned by FarFarAway just last night!
RapedByFFA was the second player to be eliminated in PZ3, he was double teamed by FarFarAway and Partimers. Johnnyland was the third to go, Shakespeare got all of that. Tiki was gulped down by Harlot, with a little side dressing for Shakespeare. wales, who was the most sacked so far, was haxored by FarFarAway. And EmpireKing was carved up, flame broiled, and served al-dente by Shakespeare, PCLoadLetter, and Harlot. Sunnydale was another victim of the FarFarAway and Partimers lawn grooming machine.
Meanwhile, battles are continuing, and mega-alliances are forming. FarFarAway has been busy working on Raistmiche (formerly RimFire), with some assists from ULKH and Dorsai!. Shakespeare has been munching on Dorsai!'s backdoor. The power blocks shaping up appear to be FarFarAway and Partimers (with a possible, yet *unofficial*, beep), versus Harlot, Shakespeare, and PCLoadLetter. There are some wildcard countries out there, who can definitely turn the tide depending on whether
they join a particular side, remain neutral (ie: get munched), or play their techtoy card. The wildcards include: Nova (who has a tech lead over all other countries), ULKH (who is the next most powerful on the charts and has impressive tech), Leutonia (who has shown that they are dug-in, and are not to be easily rolled or tampered with), and Dorsai! (who has brought the battle to another continent while his backdoor gets munched on). Tough choices, do the teams want to provide protective support for these potential supportive allies, roll them so the opposition doesn't get them for their potential benefits, or roll them just 'cuz they are in the way? Can these straggler countries sell themselves for why they should be spared or allowed to join the alliances, or will they all band together as a third party?
Players are able to build Jet fighter planes. The tech leaders can build Jet-Fighter Bombers, short range missiles, and train Marines.
(summary of the news from the past 20 days)
=== The Bottom Line ==
FarFarAway seized several sectors from wales
Harlot seized seventy-nine sectors from Tiki
Shakespeare seized sixty-two sectors from Johnnyland
FarFarAway seized fifty-seven sectors from Raistmiche
FarFarAway seized fifty-four sectors from Sunnydale
Shakespeare seized fifty-three sectors from Dorsai!
Partimers seized forty-one sectors from Sunnydale
Shakespeare seized thirty sectors from EmpireKing
Harlot seized nineteen sectors from EmpireKing
PCLoadLetter seized fourteen sectors from EmpireKing
Shakespeare seized thirteen sectors from Tiki
ULKH seized eleven sectors from Raistmiche
Dorsai! seized eight sectors from Raistmiche
Shakespeare captured six sectors from Raistmiche
FarFarAway captured six sectors from RapedByFFA
Dorsai! captured five sectors from ULKH
Partimers captured five sectors from RapedByFFA
Sunnydale captured five sectors from Terminator
Leutonia captured four sectors from Terminator
ULKH took three sectors from Terminator
Harlot took two sectors from Anguiron
FarFarAway took two sectors from Terminator
Harlot stole one sector from Shakespeare
wales stole one sector from Sunnydale
Shakespeare stole one sector from Leutonia
beep stole one sector from Terminator
Partimers stole one sector from Terminator
- = [ Empire Power Report ] = -
as of Wed Dec 15 22:12:02 2004
sects eff civ mil shell gun pet iron dust oil pln ship unit money
FarFarAwa 350 96% 268K 12K 6.3K 1.4K 9.9K 35K 1.8K 7.3K 190 130 160 45K
Harlot 270 100% 215K 12K 7.2K 1.3K 14K 34K 1.4K 12K 180 150 150 5.0K
Shakespea 275 99% 218K 9.9K 8.8K 780 16K 30K 3.0K 5.0K 130 160 160 2.3K
Partimers 225 96% 176K 7.0K 6.6K 560 6.3K 18K 950 400 110 150 80 15K
beep 160 97% 127K 7.8K 4.7K 630 8.8K 19K 1.1K 2.6K 120 150 90 40K
PCLoadLet 125 98% 100K 4.7K 2.7K 505 9.9K 12K 450 700 60 60 40 20K
Nova 105 100% 99K 4.3K 3.8K 410 9.8K 7.9K 350 2.0K 80 40 40 10K
ULKH 105 98% 88K 4.5K 4.9K 395 5.3K 8.6K 500 750 60 60 30 875
Leutonia 95 98% 79K 3.9K 3.0K 450 2.3K 16K 400 350 50 50 50 5.0K
Dorsai! 50 97% 37K 2.1K 925 125 6.6K 6.7K 600 550 40 50 10 578
Raistmich 30 100% 23K 850 525 80 45 4.5K 50 2 10 20 20 45K
Sunnydale 0 0% 0 150 300 55 0 0 0 0 0 20 0 10K
Tiki 0 0% 0 27 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 30K
Johnnylan 0 0% 0 10 10 2 0 0 0 0 0 4 0 5.0K
Anguiron 0 0% 0 33 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 4 0 5.0K
RapedByFF 0 0% 0 47 0 5 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 3.9K
wales 0 0% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 -800
EmpireKing 0 0% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 -10K
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
worldwide 1.8K 98% 1.4M 70K 50K 6.7K 89K 191K 10K 32K 1.0K 1.1K 830 235K
Deities favorite announcement:
> Announcement from Sunnydale, (#16) dated Sun Dec 12 00:51:49 2004 Looks like I've been invaded. I think I feel a baby coming on...(in reference to the 'convenient' timing of EK's `wife's` going into labor just as his country was being overrun, so now it seems to be a good excuse for why you were unable to man your post when the onslaught was brungst.)
Petting Zoo Three is hosted at: sheepfarm.game-host.org:6666, with Deities Bungholio and Ski. The visitor account is available.
The official PZ3 game webpage is:
http://www.angelfire.com/empire2/bungholio/PettingZooThree.html
If you would like to be added to the "replacement players" list or the "temporary sub" list (in the event an opening comes up), send an email to empire_bungholio @ verizon.net saying such.
Who'sYourShagdaddy[?],
Bungholio
Nine weeks after start, January 2nd, 2005
Petting Zoo Three is now 2 months into the action. We've had 37 updates so far, and the action continues to intensify. As nations grow, more capital is available for waging war, and technology growth continues to bring new toys into play. All nations with several sectors or more are capable of building a variety of planes,
missiles, ships, and land units. Paratroopers are becoming the preferred choice of invasion. Of the original 18 countries that entered Petting Zoo III, only 7 remain.
Since the last game status posting, four countries have been evicted from occupying their home continents and any substantial terrain in the Petting Zoo. Raistmiche, Dorsai!, Nova (changed to PlagueLand), and PCLoadLetter were all haxored. Raistmiche was being overrun in the last posting by FarFarAway, and has since been finished off. Dorsai!, who was among the tech leaders early on, continued to push
tech at the expense of building war toys, and Shakespeare and ULKH took advantage of his weakness. Nova, who was the tech leader for the majority of the game so far, also pushed his tech wickedly hard without investing in extensive defenses, which tempted Harlot to visit his palace only to have him reject her advances, and then Nova put up the strongest fight so far in PZ3 trying to keep her
off of him, giving Harlot a nasty nightmare of active fighting back and hellish che. And PCLoadLetter, who then became the recent tech leader, was wiped clean from the map in just a matter of days from the Partimers lawnmower machine. (Does anyone notice a trend here?)
The world has divided into two major powers. One major power is the FarFarAway and Partimers alliance (with an unoffical beep), these guys have been working together and wiping the world with swift execution and teamwork. The other major power is the Harlot, Shakespeare, ULKH, and PCLoadLetter team, who have banded together and had a very strong position, but are strugging to roll into action to get anything organized and executed. For example, PCLoadLetter was completely wiped in a matter of updates, with little help provided to him, or without a counterattack. Meanwhile, Leutonia is maintaining a neutral position in the world.
- = [ Empire Power Report ] = -
as of Sun Jan 02 16:16:16 2005
sects eff civ mil shell gun pet iron dust oil pln ship unit money
FarFarAway 445 96% 348K 20K 16K 2.5K 22K 44K 1.8K 6.5K 330 290 260 5K
Harlot 340 94% 242K 12K 13K 2.3K 27K 58K 2.0K 14K 340 190 130 10K
Shakespear 340 97% 273K 20K 19K 1.9K 29K 39K 2.3K 7.9K 230 230 300 10K
Partimers 355 89% 258K 12K 14K 1.2K 11K 22K 2.7K 1.5K 240 210 140 30K
beep 175 98% 141K 9.7K 8.6K 1.1K 16K 12K 500 3.1K 250 170 120 30K
ULKH 110 99% 92K 5.8K 5.5K 425 8.1K 15K 550 1.0K 80 60 40 354
Leutonia 100 100% 88K 4.5K 7.5K 1.2K 3.5K 14K 400 300 70 70 90 10K
Raistmiche 0 0% 0 100 17 5 0 0 0 0 0 5 0 40K
Tiki 0 0% 0 27 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 30K
PCLoadLett 0 0% 0 100 75 10 1.0K 0 0 6 0 5 0 -679
Sunnydale 0 0% 0 100 150 40 0 0 0 0 0 10 0 -5K
Anguiron 0 0% 0 33 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 4 0 4.1K
Johnnyland 0 0% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 5.0K
RapedByFFA 0 0% 0 47 0 5 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 1.5K
PlagueLand 1 14% 11 23 20 4 0 0 19 0 0 2 0 -5K
Dorsai! 1 100% 999 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 -23K
wales 0 0% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 -800
EmpireKing 0 0% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 -12K
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
worldwide 1.9K 95% 1.4M 85K 83K 11K 118K 204K 10K 34K 1.5K 1.3K 1.1K 130K
=== The Bottom Line ==
Harlot seized several sectors from PlagueLand
Partimers seized several sectors from PCLoadLetter
Shakespeare seized forty-three sectors from Dorsai!
FarFarAway seized thirty-five sectors from Raistmiche
FarFarAway seized thirty-one sectors from PCLoadLetter
FarFarAway seized twenty-seven sectors from ULKH
Partimers seized twenty-four sectors from Harlot
ULKH seized seventeen sectors from Dorsai!
ULKH seized twelve sectors from PlagueLand
Shakespeare seized eleven sectors from PCLoadLetter
Harlot seized ten sectors from PCLoadLetter
FarFarAway seized eight sectors from PlagueLand
Shakespeare captured four sectors from FarFarAway
FarFarAway took three sectors from Harlot
FarFarAway took two sectors from Dorsai!
Partimers took two sectors from Sunnydale
beep stole one sector from Shakespeare
FarFarAway stole one sector from Sunnydale
beep stole one sector from Terminator
Deity's Favorite Announcement:
(favorite because this anno sparked some interesting suggestions for beep's neicelings...)
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Mon Dec 20 23:01:59 2004 *sigh* christmas sux. brother sez to just give the niecelings some money, cuz that's what he and sis-in-law are doing. i figger that's just to impersonal, gotta give the little princesses some bling. figger $100-$150 ought to be able to buy some reasonable nice-sized piece of not-precious-but-not-crap-either bit of sparkle... jeezus h. christ.Petting Zoo Three is hosted at: sheepfarm.game-host.org:6666, with Deities Bungholio and Ski. The visitor account is available.
The official PZ3 game webpage is:
http://www.angelfire.com/empire2/bungholio/PettingZooThree.html
If you would like to be added to the "replacement players" list or the "temporary sub" list (in the event an opening comes up), send an email to empire_bungholio @ verizon.net saying such.
Who's Yo' Shagdaddy!,
Bungholio
Petting Zoo Three was won by FarFarAway and Partimers, with an honorable
mention to beep. The game lasted 43 updates. 18 players started, only 7
had any respectable number of sectors by endgame. The game went from
01NOV2004 to 11JAN2005. Deities were Bungholio and Ski.
It was quite a game. I have posted a ton of data to the official PettingZoo3
endgame report webpage:
www.angelfire.com/empire2/bungholio/PettingZooThree_EndGameReport.html
And for the post-game discussion, I was thinking of trying something new.
Please reference the every-3rd-update-graphs at:
www.angelfire.com/empire2/bungholio/PettingZooThree_updates.html
or download your own copy of the every-update-by-update data at:
www.angelfire.com/empire2/bungholio/pz3_all_data.zip
So there's the data, player commentary begins here...
-Bungy
Blue coloring on countries in the power chart indicates the winners of the game.
- = [ PettingZoo3 - Final Power Report ] = -
as of Tue Jan 11 23:24:25 2005
sects eff civ mil shell gun pet irn dust oil pln ship unit money score
FarFarAwa 469 98% 379K 27K 24K 3.5K 27K 45K 2.2K 6.1K 494 355 326 14K 32064
Partimers 411 96% 315K 19K 22K 1.6K 12K 26K 1.8K 817 368 235 171 32K 25183
Harlot 283 96% 213K 15K 19K 3.0K 33K 79K 1.4K 13K 533 195 161 6.9K 24349
Shakespea 350 98% 292K 25K 24K 2.8K 32K 33K 2.3K 9.5K 496 284 321 81K 24303
beep 187 100% 158K 11K 12K 1.5K 20K 14K 510 3.5K 290 196 128 69K 13674
Leutonia 103 100% 96K 7.1K 14K 1.6K 3.4K 14K 290 1.7K 91 80 100 4.6K 9116
ULKH 99 100% 88K 4.6K 7.5K 597 12K 11K 371 569 162 75 53 5.9K 7860
Raistmich 0 0% 0 84 17 6 0 0 0 0 0 5 0 34K 133
Tiki 0 0% 0 27 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 27K 78
Johnnylan 0 0% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 5.2K 12
Anguiron 0 0% 0 10 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0 2.6K 7
RapedByFF 0 0% 0 47 0 5 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 -244 6
---- --- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- --- ---- ---- ---- --- ---- ----
worldwide 1.9K 98% 1.5M 110K 123K 15K 141K 222K 8.9K 36K 2.4K 1.4K 1.3K 225K
Blue coloring on countries in the report indicates the winners of the game.
- = [ PettingZoo3 - Final "report *" ] = - Tue Jan 11 23:24:25 2005 # name tech research education happiness capital 1 Dorsai! 159.90 58.84 0.44 0.00 -97,-3 2 Harlot 206.99 58.84 14.93 0.00 -7,-1 3 wales 136.80 61.91 0.19 0.00 -82,32 4 Raistmiche 162.02 58.84 0.77 0.00 -72,-32 5 Anguiron 107.62 58.84 0.01 0.00 32,20 6 PlagueLand 174.88 58.84 0.81 0.02 -46,-22 7 FarFarAway 200.93 81.11 18.43 9.63 -36,-54 8 Tiki 133.66 58.84 0.08 0.00 70,2 9 Johnnyland 118.46 58.84 0.02 0.00 -101,49 10 PCLoadLetter 179.84 96.92 3.51 0.62 31,-23 11 Shakespeare 185.80 117.20 18.03 3.47 73,-21 12 ULKH 204.52 109.80 24.21 15.42 -73,-1 13 EmpireKing 134.56 58.84 0.06 0.00 34,-24 14 beep 193.84 58.84 21.90 0.00 74,38 15 RapedByFFA 124.40 58.84 0.01 0.00 6,34 16 Sunnydale 159.41 58.84 0.43 0.00 -44,12 17 Partimers 201.75 82.50 18.61 15.02 39,53 18 Leutonia 198.30 116.45 21.06 16.88 104,18
An animated 'map *' is available for viewing.
Comprehensive statistics regarding the game are available.
Results of a survey run by the deities are available.
Blog entries from the players are available.
None
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Nov 09 23:06:40 2004
damn.
nearly went ape-shit there... did a budg just as the update happened.
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Nov 09 23:50:49 2004
i gots me a p-51 _mustang_. unfortunately it looks to be an early
prototype, and not one with the merlin.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Nov 09 23:55:05 2004
I suggest a new game name: Cracker Jack Empire. Invade an island and get a prize!
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Wed Nov 10 01:11:35 2004
ALL HAIL NOVAR
WHO UNSLEFISHNESSLY DRAGS US
ALL ALONG THE TECH CRUVE.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Wed Nov 10 15:09:28 2004
Friends, just in time for the Christmas gift giving season,
the hotest selling item down under...
Too many sheep grazing in your front yard and attracting the
wrong clientel?
Does that little bitch of your neighbor's bark all night long
and keep you awake?
Are pesky JWs, girl scouts with overpriced cookies, and
political hacks running for judgeship constantly knocking
on your front door?
Then you need the Dingomatic.
That's right - The Dingomatic. The wild dog from
down under will help keep the peace in your neighborhood. Just
listen to these testimonials:
"That little poodle Mrs Andrews had was louder than the old '72
Nova I got. And she kept dumping on my rosebushes. But heck,
I didn't even have to feed my Dingomatic for the first few weeks."
"I haven't had a bill collector make it to my front door in 4
months. My Dingomatic paid for itself in just 3 weeks."
"You should see those old geezers drop their Watchtowers and
run when my Dingomatic answers the door."
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Wed Nov 10 15:22:57 2004
Yes, that's right. The Dingomatic eliminates common household
annoyances like salesman, nosey neighbors, and those damn
college kids that are always spray painting your address on the
curb then shaking you down for 20 bucks.
But the Dingomatic (tm) is so much more than just a usefull
household tool. Never come back empty handed during deer season
again. Prove to the drunk on the barstool that the Green Bay
Packers really are a bunch of queers. And you will NEVER have
to pay for prime rib at the grocery store again.
So order your Dingomatic today for only $499.99.
But wait, their's more. If you order within the next 10 minutes
we will throw in, absolutly free, the big 10 pound box of
Koala-licious drink mix: The instant drink mix made from the
freshest Koala.
(Dingomatic and Koala-licious are registered trademarks
of the DownUnderAndOften Corperation. Please use your
Dingomatic responsibly.)
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Thu Nov 11 08:27:24 2004
Happy Veterans day to all. To celebrate, Bungy is running a parade
today. You are welcome to join the festivities, just tag along in
the march.
Ahhh, rolling down Maim St now comes the first float. It's a beautifully
decorated 37 meter tall inflatable sheep. Whoa, most notable is the
red lipstick on the mouth! She is floating a few meters off the ground,
and I have here in the notes, "so she doesn't get a small prick..."
hmmm, interesting.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Fri Nov 12 07:11:45 2004
First non-Terminator blood:
=== The Front Line ===
Fri Nov 12 07:10 Shakespeare sailors take a coastal sector from Partimers
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Fri Nov 12 08:23:44 2004
I think this award rightly belongs to Harlot, as she was the first:
Thu Nov 11 11:56 Harlot navy secures a beachhead on Sunnydale territory
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Fri Nov 12 09:14:08 2004
That's right. I was first. You men just can't stand to see me
first can you!
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Fri Nov 12 09:22:29 2004
Partimers and I found two islands at the same
time and I took a sector in error, there is
no hostility between The Bard and Partimers.
Shakespeare
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Fri Nov 12 10:57:12 2004
btw, whose the bugger who put 20 mil in the
mountains?
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Fri Nov 12 11:24:26 2004
? Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Fri Nov 12 10:57:12 2004
btw, whose the bugger who put 20 mil in the
mountains?
I did I admit it. So shoot me.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Fri Nov 12 11:49:20 2004
Astronomy and sex. Do they go together? You decide. Let's
examine some terms.
Note that a (F) after a term means the term applies to females.
An (M) means males.
Dark Side of the Moon (M): You get a woman of African descent
back to your place. She insists on only doing to doggie style
Burn-up on re-entry (F): This is the infection you will get when
you allow your boyfried to "play the back nine" and he goes back
to the "standard activity"
Globular Cluster (F): Hey babe, it's you and three men with
asperations of face painting
Golden asteriod shower: Just throw in a few kidney stones
Vaginal Eclipse (M): Your girlfriend is so big that when she
sits on your face, it blocks out all the light.
Penil Eclipse (F): In the middle of the act, your boyfriend fully
penetrates the back nine. You see stars.
Stellar Corona (M): See looks like a real hag until you have
several of those weak mexican beers
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Fri Nov 12 12:46:58 2004
re: who put 20 mils in the mountains?
that would be Terminator. He is the one who is responsible for this:
Mon Nov 01 23:25 Terminator makes a contribution to Terminator several times
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Fri Nov 12 15:30:11 2004
Harlot : listen up....
10 reasons sheep are better than women:
Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth
You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear
Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather
Cotton mouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease
Nuttin' beats mutton
Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel
Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke, and then tell you they have to be home early
Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down
Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed off when you tell them
No matter how old or ugly you are, you can always find a willing ewe
Sheep are never concerned about their reputation
Sheep won't tell all their friends about the time you couldn't get it up
Sheep won't ask if you're gay the first time you can't get it up for the second time
Sheep never insist on eating out
You'll never catch your sheep masturbating
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Fri Nov 12 20:42:23 2004
*******************************************************
* *
* WASWAS EVIL INDUSTRIES *
* SPECIAL OFFER *
* *
* Waswas heavy industries is offering this *
* golden real estate investment opportunity *
* for a short time only. *
* *
* Get rich quick! Increase your power score *
* *
* Our prefab housing kits can be built over *
* any suitable sea sectors, providing space *
* for almost 1000 tax-paying civilians. An *
* investment today in Waswas Prefab Housing *
* units will pay itself off in a few short *
* updates. *
* p.t.o *
*******************************************************
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Fri Nov 12 20:42:42 2004
*******************************************************
* *
* Be the envy of your neighborhood with a *
* beautiful, two-level Deluxe Presidential *
* unit, shown below: *
* *
* *
* ----------- *
* *
* ----------- *
* *
* The spacious Deluxe Presidential *
* *
* This introductory offer of only $1000 is *
* only valid for a short time, so act fast *
* and don't delay! *
* *
* Here's how to order: *
* *
* 1. Purchase 100 hcm from the market. *
* 2. Move 100 hcm to a coastal sector with *
* at least 40 avail. *
* 3. Type the command "build bridge" and *
* follow the prompts from there. *
* *
* Guaranteed the easiest, safest and least *
* expensive way to expand your real estate *
* holdings! *
* *
*******************************************************
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Fri Nov 12 21:04:51 2004
Never mind the 20 mil in the mountains, who put the arty and the planes
in the mountains? If I didn't know better, I'd wonder if the diety was
undertaking some psych grad student thesis project assessing how masochistic
empire players can be. Hmmmm....makes me wonder. Cracker Jack Empire? No,
Leather Empire seems more fitting. It sure doesn't have that merino wool feel
anymore.
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Fri Nov 12 21:43:11 2004
ALL NATION:
AS NOTIFY IN ORIGINAL ANNO ANY NATION FOUND TO
VIOLATE THIS COUNTRY "JURISDICTIONAL WATER" WILL BE CONSIDER
HOSTILE. NOW WE HAVE THIS HOSTILE ACT BY HALROT. NOW HALROT SHALL
BE SHOOTED!! ONE CAPPED SACKITAL COMING UP SIRS!
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Fri Nov 12 21:49:20 2004
he have big mouse...
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Fri Nov 12 22:02:47 2004
Well if EmpireKing hadn't put his island in the way of my frigate,
this whole ugly incident would have been avoided
> Announcement from PCLoadLetter, (#10) dated Fri Nov 12 22:56:17 2004
Annyone wanna try bouncing uws? Its gotta be better than moving them with FBs or SSs...
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Sat Nov 13 02:46:27 2004
(shoves uw out of a high window)
*aaaaaaaaahhhhhh*thud*
"huh, very low c. of r."
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Sat Nov 13 11:08:20 2004
ALL NATION'S:
ANOTHER YET INVADOR OF OUR JRISDICTIONAL WATER!
SO-CALL "SHAKPEAR" IS NOW DECLARE HOSTILE!!
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Sat Nov 13 16:44:13 2004
Empire King dost declare war on Shakespeare?
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.
Thou comest to use thy tongue; thy story shall be short.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sat Nov 13 17:57:25 2004
Gee, an invasion in iambic pentameter? This should be fun to watch!
Get the mutton on the barbie, mate! We've got us some entertainment.
(BTW, can someone please some those )(*^)*&(%&^% bleating sheep? All that
that parade did was get them worked up.)
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sun Nov 14 05:44:17 2004
Oooooooooooooooooooooooh, empireking.
You so sexy!
Strong man, though I suspect your big letters
may be an attempt to compensate for lack of size
in other areas...
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sun Nov 14 09:18:45 2004
Wow. We've needed a woman's touch in this game for so long...
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sun Nov 14 13:11:33 2004
Is it my imagination, or is someone really selling uranium on the market?
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sun Nov 14 15:39:28 2004
EVERYBODY likes it when the woman is on top!
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Sun Nov 14 15:44:40 2004
yeah-yeah... now could you lean a bit to one side and hand me the remote, sweetie-pie?
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sun Nov 14 15:56:28 2004
I keep forgetting. It's Sunday afternoon and foot ball is on.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sun Nov 14 16:25:22 2004
Sounds like beep just scored a safety
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Mon Nov 15 07:36:08 2004
And now it is time to hold the first of our in-game
contests in Petting Zoo Three. The first contest
is called "The ROCK:PAPER:SCISSORS Match-3 Lotto".
Here's how to play:
It is a basic Match-3 type of game, where countries
enter their guesses for the number of Rock:Paper:
Scissors countries there are in this game.
Please submit your entry using the following form:
+-------------MATCH-3-------------------+
! Country Name: !
! # of Rocks: !
! # of Papers: !
! # of Scissors: !
+---------------------------------------+
Each country is allowed to submit one entry. Entries
must be submitted to Bungholio via "telegram 0". All
entries must be received prior to Wednesday Nov 17th
at 19:00 (server time). Winner(s) will be announced
by 20:00 that evening, and prizes distributed prior
to the Thursday update.
There is also a Golden Shepherd award for the country
that comes the closest to the actual values.
Prize Payout Schedule:
Match One : 2 Bars
Match Two : 10 Bars*
Match Three : 15 Bars
Golden Shepherd: 10 Bars
* note, if you can match 2, but not get all 3, then you
deserve to be penalized the 5 bars for not being able to
do simple disassociative subtractive arithmetic.
There is no cost to play, however, you must have a bank
to claim any prizes you may be awarded.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Mon Nov 15 13:52:45 2004
Top 10 signs you have been reading to much Dune:
10: You never, ever water your lawn.
9: You have never bought your kids squirt guns.
8: On every trip to the grocery store, you check the spice isle for melange.
7: Some clown at the ball game next to you spits. Your wife says "Ewwwww, ick" and you think
"What a waste!"
6: Every time you see Dick Clarke on TV you wonder how much spice he consumes in a day.
5: You have spent time wondering why Wallach IX is the ninth planeth around Laoujin, and not Wallach.
4: If it doesn't rain for 72 hours during the spring, you start sewing a stillsuit.
3: You have tried to apply to a mentat school.
2: The pool in your back yard is filled with catch water from your downspouts.
1: You ask the clerk at the 7-11 where the spice beer is.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Mon Nov 15 21:43:44 2004
info bridgetowers
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Mon Nov 15 21:59:25 2004
TO VISITORS ACCOUNT::
Sorry, there is no info on bridgetowers
LOL
> Announcement from Ski, (#40) dated Tue Nov 16 15:31:47 2004
info Sector-types and info build provide info on bridgetowers
> Announcement from PCLoadLetter, (#10) dated Tue Nov 16 17:53:43 2004
}> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Mon Nov 15 21:59:25 2004
}TO VISITORS ACCOUNT::
}
}Sorry, there is no info on bridgetowers
}
"show tower" is your friend. Tech 100, *sigh*. Not that many of us
have $7,500 spare at the moment.
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Tue Nov 16 21:31:20 2004
*******************************************************
* *
* WASWAS EVIL INDUSTRIES *
* SPECIAL OFFER *
* *
* Waswas heavy industries proud to announce *
* the new DIY *fort construction kits*. *
* *
* Available for a short time only, so act *
* now!! For you, special offer, only $1000. *
* *
* Guns and shells not included. See market *
* for details. *
* *
*******************************************************
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Nov 16 22:07:40 2004
Sweet! Waswas is pushing "H"
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Nov 16 22:42:14 2004
que?
> Announcement from Blog, (#44) dated Tue Nov 16 22:55:34 2004
I'm feeling lonely... somebody please tell me what you are thinking
about.
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Tue Nov 16 22:59:51 2004
}> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Nov 16 22:07:40 2004
}Sweet! Waswas is pushing "H"
Yes, only the very finest hand-picked, Columbian "hcm" available in the
world...
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Nov 17 12:19:29 2004
"When the toast is burnin and the milk is turnin
and Cap'n Crunch is waving fairwell...
When the big one finds you, may this song remind you
That they don't server breakfast in hell."
Now, whose song is that?
Harlot
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Wed Nov 17 19:31:28 2004
I have the results of the PZ3 Match-3 Lotto. But first I must say I am
rather dissapointed in the country submission turnout. We've got 18
players here, yet only 7 of you submitted guesses. That's barely a 39%
turnout, for something free or in your favor. Anyway, onto the results.
We only had one winner, who scored on two of the categories. This
country nailed the Match-One category and the Golden Shepherd category.
Let's have a round of applause for "Partimers", who guessed 6:3:9 for
the Rock:Paper:Scissors ratios. Partimers shall receive 12 bars for
his submission. The actual ratios are 6:4:8.
The non-winning entries received (keeping the submittors anonymous) :
Ro:Pa:Sc
10:06:02
03:00:15
00:17:01
05:09:04
10:05:03
05:01:12
> Announcement from Sunnydale, (#16) dated Wed Nov 17 22:18:23 2004
Gambling is an unseemly drain on society.
Richard Wilkins III
Mayor of Sunnydale
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Thu Nov 18 03:14:02 2004
*******************************************************
* *
* WASWAS EVIL INDUSTRIES *
* SPECIAL OFFER *
* *
* Make cash on the high seas! Build trade *
* ships! *
* *
* Waswas heavy industries proud to announce *
* the new heavy hull tradeship kits. *
* *
* Available for a short time only, so act *
* now!! For you, special offer only $1000. *
* *
* Lcms not included. See market for details. *
* *
* We also specialise in recycled tradeships *
* Just sail them to one of our harbors and *
* scuttle it. We will happily recycle your *
* scrap! Just let us know your coming! *
* *
*******************************************************
> Announcement from PCLoadLetter, (#10) dated Thu Nov 18 07:29:02 2004
A nice 71% tech 0 frg now on sale for $500.
Oh, did I mention it was doing a bit of coastmapping in empire king
"jurisdictional" waters?
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Thu Nov 18 07:44:11 2004
ATTENTIO ALL NATION:
AS CAN SEE FROM COMMAND "NEWS" PC-CHODE-EATER HAS
MET THE FATE OF SUNK SHIP DUE TO EXCESS COASTMAPS.
PLEASE STAY BACK 15 SECTOR AND AVOID THIS!
> Announcement from Johnnyland, (#9) dated Thu Nov 18 08:10:08 2004
For news release
Dateline: November 18, 2004
Johnnyland announces they have shot their National treasurer, and will be announging
a replacement shortly.
In the meantime, King Johnny would greatly appreciate a small loan in order to buy a coffin for
our late accountant.
With thanks,
King Johnny
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Thu Nov 18 14:17:24 2004
The ruler of Leutonia, returning from his hunting trip
off in the mountains, comes back to the sheep house, scene
of a few dozen civil servants busily pushing paper around.
"What the HELL is going on here?"
A pathetic looking underling squeeks out, "Sir?"
"WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL THE CIVILIANS? Who's fucking
bright idea was it to hand out condoms?"
A geeky looking frazzle haired less-than-jewel of a
human stands up, "That was me sir. You see, there's
rumors of a pandemic break..."
BLAM! <thud> <panedmonium breaks out>
"Anybody else got any bright ideas? Go home! Screw
your wives and make babies dammit! And cancel
Thanksgiving! If you're not busy shagging your
wives, girlfriends, daughters, and any other
remotely female thing you sure as hell better
not be shagging turkey! GET OUT OF HERE!"
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Nov 18 14:34:22 2004
**ATTENTION**
**ATTENTION**
I would like to say something nice on behalf of EMpireKing
But I can't think of anything.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Fri Nov 19 08:38:11 2004
So this guy heads out one nice morning to the gold course to get in
a full day on the links. He goes to the clubhouse and is told that
a threesome has just left and should be on the first tee. If he
husstles, he should be able to join them.
Out on the first tee, he sees two guys and a wonderfully built,
sexy blonde woman. He asks if he could join them and they say yes.
The 18 holes are played fairly well and everybody has a good time.
The group heads back to the clubhouse for a few drinks. After almost
and hour the other to guys look at their watches and say they have
to get home to the wife and kids. Out protagonist is now left with
the stunning blonde.
To his surprise, she asks him to dinner. They go to a wonderful
resturant and hit it off fabulously. After dinner he invites her
back to his place.
As soon as he closes the door to his appartment, she is on her
knees ripping off his pants. For the nexxt 20 minutes she pro-
ceeds to give him the best hummer he has ever had
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Fri Nov 19 08:43:40 2004
After she finishes, she gets up and says "How about we meet up at
the golf course tomorrow?" He can't possibly figure out a reason
to say no.
Next morning, it's the same thing. He meets up with her and the
other two guys. They play golf and have drinks. The other 2 guys
leave and he and the woman go to dinner. then back at at his place
she is down on him again. She doesn't even stop after the first
"eruption" and doubles his pleasure from the previous night.
Once again she gets up and says "Same thing tomorrow?" Naturally,
he agrees.
next, same thing. Golf, drink, dinner, back at his place and she
starts to tear his pants off. But this time he stops her.
"Hey", he says, "I really like you and I'd like to go all the way
with you tonight."
"Well," she says, "there is one problem with that. You see, I'm
really a guy."
"WHAT!" he shouts "And all this time you been hitting off of the
short tees!"
> Announcement from Anguiron, (#5) dated Fri Nov 19 12:09:16 2004
AHH!!!
Ok, I my cale company picked a bad time to suck about letting me online.
Damnit. There goes My country.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Fri Nov 19 13:41:08 2004
Current cable bill : $34.99
Over due >90 bill :$364.78
--------
Total due :$399.77
You have lost your capital. Better designate a new one...
(Wow! That's some collection agency!)
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Fri Nov 19 15:24:49 2004
[121:640] Command : zdone y
You (18) now want an update.
1 of a total of 18 lunatics want an update.
Bunch of panzies! What, you aren't lunatics?
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Fri Nov 19 18:21:38 2004
Just to clear up any confusion that any of you may be having
regarding the update schedule for the next week.
update #15 @ 11:00 Saturday Nov 20
update #16 @ 15:00 Sunday Nov 21
update #17 @ 19:00 Monday Nov 22
update #18 @ 23:00 Tuesday Nov 23
skip 03:00 Thursday Nov 25 (thanksgiving)
skip 07:00 Friday Nov 26 (thanksgiving)
(change to 42-hour updates)
update #19 @ 11:00 Saturday Nov 27
update #20 @ 05:00 Monday Nov 29
etc.
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Fri Nov 19 21:13:39 2004
ATTENTION ALL PLAYER:
ISLAND OF "TIKI" HAS VOILATED JURISDICTIONAL WATERS OF
EMPIRE KING AND IS KINDLY ASK TO BACK AWAY ASAP!
OR ELSE FEEL RATH OF EK AIRFORCE!!
REGARD,
EK
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Fri Nov 19 23:54:46 2004
For those of us traveling in the Great American Travel Tradition (a version of
GATT known as Thanksgiving), skipping update #19 would also be appreciated.
It is, after, part of a weekend spent with families. Sorry, forgot I was
talking to a bunch of Empire players...forget the suggestion, I'll just
figure on missing the update.
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Sat Nov 20 00:09:36 2004
HEAR THIS DR. SAI:
SINCE YOU ADMIT YOU WILL MISS UPDATE #19, I HAVE NO CIOCE
BUT ATTACK YOU FRONTALY AT THAT MOMENTS.
YOU WILL HAVE YOUR CAP SACKITALED WITHIN UPDATE 20!!
dec war Dor
^H^H^H^H^H^H^
^^q
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sat Nov 20 00:15:17 2004
He really declared on me. Unbelievable. What a farce. Is EK some random
function incorporated into the server code to annoy us?
> Announcement from Johnnyland, (#9) dated Sat Nov 20 07:22:33 2004
King Johnny presents the WinACE Haiku
On our northern coast
There appeared to be a ship
It must be a ghost.
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Sat Nov 20 08:33:59 2004
ATTENIOTN ALL NATION:
A BURACRATIC ERROR ON PART OF OUR CLERK
IN MINISTRY OF OBSERVATOIN CAUSED
A FAULTY DECLARE OF WAR ON DR. SAI.
IN FACT IT WAS THE SHIPS OF TIKI
WHAT ARE VOILATE THESE WATERS.
WE HEAR BYE RESCINDS OUR
WAR DECLARE ON DR. SAI.
REGARD!
EK
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sat Nov 20 09:31:02 2004
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Nov 20 11:19:29 2004
Looks like the citizen leader considers rotting flesh
a delicacy.
Didn't your momma tell you that feeding on carrion with
the vultures and coyotes will make you sick, beep?
Sat Nov 20 11:02 beep sector infected with bubonic plague
Beep is hereby quarantined. Interact at your own risk...
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Sat Nov 20 11:21:07 2004
Shrek and Donkey on another whirlwind adventure!!!
Sat Nov 20 11:19 FarFarAway sacks Hegemon capital
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sat Nov 20 11:42:42 2004
No why can't the any of the fodder be around me?!
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sat Nov 20 11:56:53 2004
Sat Nov 20 11:54 Harlot capital infected
Hmmmm...looks like you caught something from beep. Hope it's only the plague
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Nov 20 12:33:49 2004
Attention All Countries:
A player has submitted a formal request to change the
update schedule from the original published one (see
http://www.angelfire.com/empire2/bungholio/PZ3_updatesched.txt)
The proposal is to skip update #19 on Saturday Nov27 at 11:00.
As per my original game posting, I need an 80% approval from
the active countries to intentionally deviate from the
published game parameters. Which means that if all 18 of
you are still active by the time I close the vote, then
14 of you need to want it skipped. Submit your vote via
"telegram 0", and I plan to close the vote one-hour after update
#18, so that everyone will then have a chance to know if they can
really "get away" or not this weekend.
-Bungy
> Announcement from RapedByFFA, (#15) dated Sat Nov 20 15:23:47 2004
Wow, look at all these FarFarAway Ships/Units/Mil around my home island.
Makes one wonder whether his home island is as well protected as it could be?
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Sat Nov 20 17:40:46 2004
What are you, Hegemon? Your name, your quality?
and why you change your name as battle summons.
I know, my name is lost; By treason's tooth bare-gnawn
and canker-bit: Yet am I noble as the adversary I come to cope.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sun Nov 21 19:42:33 2004
It has come to our attention that EK has declared an alliance with the Dorsai!
Nothing could be farther from the truth. We have maintained our hostile
stance towards this country (and I use the term loosely), a stance adopted in
response to the unprovoked and ill-considered declaration of hostility from
EK towards the Dorsai! Please do not view such declarations of alliance as
anything other than the imagination of EK at work.
The Dorsai!
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Mon Nov 22 08:27:09 2004
The EK Foreign Ministry has been working hard over the weekend, and now
goes through yet another mercurial swing. From an alliance, EK has
now decided to be at war with the Dorsai! I'm sure we'll soon be
reading about peace talks in preparation for yet another alliance.
C'est la vie.
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Tue Nov 23 23:31:49 2004
Way to go Shrek! No let's go rescue the Princess!
Tue Nov 23 23:30 FarFarAway sacks wales capital
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Nov 23 23:35:20 2004
And today's winner of the coveted "CFO of the Update" award
goes to Dorsai! bringing the budget down to a very efficient
$13
Just enough for a nice lunch.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Nov 23 23:36:10 2004
or a 30-pack of crappy beer.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Wed Nov 24 00:12:59 2004
I have the results of the Proposition to cancel Update #19 on
Saturday Nov 27th at 11:00 vote.
Out of 17 "active" countries as of now:
8 voted to skip #19
5 voted to keep the schedule as-is
4 did not vote
Thus, the pre-published update schedule is still in effect,
and we will be observing an update on Nov 27th at 11:00.
But remember folks, updates now are changing to every 42-
hours, so the upcoming next few updates will be:
19 11:00 Saturday Nov 27
20 05:00 Monday Nov 29
21 23:00 Tuesday Nov 30
22 17:00 Thursday Dec 2
The update schedule is:
http://www.angelfire.com/empire2/bungholio/PZ3_updatesched.txt
Enjoy your holiday if you are getting away, or stick around and
post some annos or visit RGE (which needs some activity). PZ3
will be up, just the updates are disabled.
-Bungy
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Wed Nov 24 01:28:25 2004
ATTETION ALL COUTRYS::
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTETION THAT MY NATION IS NOW REGARD AS
SO-CALL "IRON KING" DUE TO FACT THAT I REACH 10K IRON FIRST!
THIS SHALL BE A WRANING TO ALL COUNTRY SUPPOSED TO ATTACK.
HEAVY IRONS ONLY RESUL IN YOU SHIP SINKS< AND MANY CRIES
FOR YOU SO_CALL "ELITE PREMIUM" LANDING UNITS!!
AS OZZY OZ BURN SAID:
"I - AM - IRON KING
SHOOT ALL INTERUDERS - WITH MY SHELLS
RUNNING - AS FAST AS THEY CAN
ALL OTHER COUNTRY ARE SO SCARED."
YOU HAVE BEEN WRANED!!!!
> Announcement from Johnnyland, (#9) dated Wed Nov 24 08:26:44 2004
Peace talks, the news says Peace talks . . .
"Peace talks may occur between Johnnyland & Shakespeare"
Nuts!
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Wed Nov 24 09:25:40 2004
What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Wed Nov 24 17:47:36 2004
Wow, lots of players have made it this far into the tech
ladder. Congrats! For all you newbies, you should brush
up on "info novice". It contains a lot of applicable
info for a game at this stage (seeing how you all can
build planes and units now).
Helpful Visitor
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Nov 27 16:07:08 2004
It's too quiet!
Q: Why was the sheep arrested on the Highway?
A: She did an illegal ewe-turn!
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Nov 27 16:18:18 2004
Q: Why can't you buy canned sheep at the market?
A: Cause then the scanners wouldn't be able to read the baa-code!
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Nov 27 16:22:48 2004
Q: What happens to empire players when they've had too much to drink?
A: They get three sheeps to the wind.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Nov 27 16:26:54 2004
Q: Why do Australians marry women?
A: Sheep can't cook!
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Nov 27 16:29:15 2004
Q: What do you call a sheep with a runny nose?
A: Full!
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Nov 27 16:31:23 2004
Q: What do you call a Montanna man dressed up in knee high boots
a silk jacket, and tiger striped pants, leading two sheep on
a leash?
A: A pimp!
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Nov 27 16:32:20 2004
Q: What do you call four sheep tied to a lamp post in Indianna?
A: A rec center!
> Announcement from Johnnyland, (#9) dated Sat Nov 27 16:52:17 2004
Those were baaaaaad.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Sat Nov 27 22:42:29 2004
Atten: WinACE users
There has been a problem found with regards to Trade Ships.
The messages that the server prints regarding the travel distances and amount of
money made are not being printed by the WinACE.
The scuttle command does success, just the messages are not printed.
The problem has been address and will be included in the next release.
Ron K.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sun Nov 28 08:34:22 2004
Attention: Newspaper Archive Readers
A bug has been found in the newspaper in the "?action=" code.
The bug does not allow actions to be selected, it reports all
news, ie: "news 10 ?action=52" shows all news from the past
10 days, not just the torpings. I don't plan on making any
adjustments to this (PZ3) code, as this bug does not appear
to be abusable, and I don't want to possibly introduce code/
database incompatibilites, so I'm leaving it as-is. If you
really want to grep the news, I suggest piping the news to
a .txt file and using a search/find function.
The "?actor=" and "?victim=" newspaper selectors are not effected
by this bug and work just fine, btw.
-Bungy
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Mon Nov 29 03:46:02 2004
It's been such an unexpected, but delightful honor
to be your club President the past couple weeks.
While we still have the gavel, I propose a few new
rules I hope you'll all find agreeable.
First, all boys must comb their hair and wash their faces
before attending our daily meetings.
Second, there will be tea parties every day at 2pm,
followed by screenings of Kim Possible, Atomic Betty
and the Powerpuff girls.
"Stiffened" tea will be permitted and is in fact encouraged.
Third, visiting hours for dolls and sheep will be every
Sunday.
Now, back to the shagging.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Mon Nov 29 20:58:44 2004
Ghost Ships in WinACE
I have had two questions about Ghost ships this evening already so I will
try and explain how to deal with them.
There is two possible issues that could be called ghost ships.
Simple one first.
There is a new feature where the ships will appear in gray. This occurs if
the enemy intelligence is older than a configured number of days. The number of
days is set in the WinACE Unit Viewing Options form under the View menu.
The second is when a ship shows on the map that it is not really there.
WinACE can not tell when a ship is no long in the coastwatch area. WinACE will
update the position of ships from a coastwatch but it can not tell that the ship
has moved out of the coastwatch area or it has been sunk.
To remove these ghost ships, you have two options.
You can use the File->Clear form for clear enemy intelligence. You can do a
coastwatch to refresh the enemy intelligence. This works well except it deletes
intelligence gained by others means like 'look' on ship you own.
The second option is to select the sector with an enemy unit in it. Select the
enemy button (red). Highlight the row and the use the delete (X) button to remove
the row. You can remove multiple rows at once by highlighting multiple rows. You
can use the sector selector to select more then one sector either by nation or all
of the them. You can also sort by column by clicking the column title.
Hopefully this information helps, and it also applies to planes and land units.
Ron K.
> Announcement from Terminator, (#42) dated Tue Nov 30 08:06:08 2004
I'll be back...
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Nov 30 12:55:07 2004
and now it's time for a new game called
"What does ULKH" stand for?"
My guess is Ugly Little Klingon Hussies
It's either that or "Upon Llamas, Kissenger Hunts"
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Nov 30 19:32:25 2004
nov 30, 2004. a date that shall live in infamy...
but... he shouldn't feel too bad; i guessed 'hickory farms'.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Dec 01 14:33:23 2004
So nice of Tiki to invite us over for cocktails.
When he said "and don't forget to bring your strap-on",
well, I just couldn't resist...
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Wed Dec 01 17:17:56 2004
June may seem like a long time off but if you have had the same
girlfriend since last June, let me assure you she has a few
"Bridal Fashion" and "Modern Bride" magazines hidden in her
appartment. Odds are, most of you men don't even know you are
getting married. But you are and you will be the last person
to be informed. time is running short and while your scheming
fiancee has been subtly educating you for a long time, you have
a lot to teach your future Mrs Child Chaser and not much time to
do it.
Fortunatly, I've put together a list of books that you can order
that will make your married life a bit more blissful. And the
best part is these books arn't for you to read. They're for that
woman that has been "grooming" you without your knowledge. Just
leave a complete boxed set over at her place the next time she asks
you to pick out envelopes, doilies, and dresses in colors that
were thought up by some color-blind twinkie.
So write down these titles and order today:
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Wed Dec 01 17:32:30 2004
#1: "It's Called Football (or Learn to Leave Me Alone on Sunday
Afternoons)
#2: "How to Survive with Just Two Pairs of Shoes and a Set of
Good Winter Boots"
#3: "Don't Throw it Out Witout Asking First" (Or "What Did You do
with my Favorite Shirt?")
#4: "Learn to Swallow and Like It."
#5: "5 Things You Should NEVER Ask your Husband to Buy for You"
#6: "Let Him Look, Let Him Look, Let Him Look - He's not Dead Yet"
#7: "Money Can Go a Lot Further if You Don't SPENT IT!"
#8: "Why your Seemingly Well Adjusted Relatives are His Prototypical
In-laws."
#9: "The Bra - Wrapping Paper for Nature's Greatest Gift"
#10: "I Do! You Will and You Bettern not Stop"
#11: "Married Women can Still go to Topless Beaches - But Only
With Their Husbands"
#12: "The World Series and Other Things that will Occupy your
Husband for more than One Evening"
#13: "Lots of Tools and They all Have Names"
#14: "Yes He will Lose his Hair But That's no Excuse"
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Wed Dec 01 22:02:08 2004
Effective Immediately: Country #4 is under new management. Please
send your welcome baskets and greetings cards to "telegram 4".
> Announcement from Blog, (#44) dated Thu Dec 02 13:14:45 2004
Need I say more?
http://weblog.infoworld.com/techwatch/archives/000854.html
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Thu Dec 02 23:07:01 2004
ATTENTIO ALL NATOINS!!!
THE 'BRING IT' HAS FINAL BEGANNED HERE IN EK COUNTRYS.
WE ARE UNDER ATTACKS FROM NO LESS THANS 3 NATION!
BUT OF THE THREE ONLY ONE HAS SHOW ANY REAL TREAT,
THREAT, HAL ROT. HE SEEM TO GRAPS THE CONCEPTS OF
TACTICAL STARTEGIES. UNLIKE SO CALL "PC CHOAD LETTER"
WHO MAKE ANEMIC ATTACKS ON PLANE SCTOR,
AND "SHAG SPEARE" WHO ONLY IS PUSSY
AND CAN ONLY SHELL "k" SECTOR FROM AFAR.
SO< I SAY ALL YOU PUSY COUNTRY - BRING IT!!!
YOU *WILL* BE SHOOTED BY MANY ARMY AND YOUR BELLY SHALL BURN
IN THE SCALDROUN OF ALLAH'S MITE!
EK
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Fri Dec 03 10:20:26 2004
ONE CAP SAKKITAL COMING RIGHT UP SIRS!!
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Fri Dec 03 18:25:07 2004
EK
Might you please tone down the volume (e.g., stop with the capital letters)?
There may be children listening...
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Fri Dec 03 19:12:34 2004
ATTNTION DR> SAI
AS YOU AE ONEOF ORIGNAL INSTIGATERS OF SAID
ACTIONS AND A VOILTING OF "JURISDICTOINAL
AIR AND SEA SPACES" - WE FIND IT HARD TO TAKE YOU
ADVISE WITH MUCH SERIOUS!
REGARD!!!
EK
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Fri Dec 03 20:55:44 2004
And when, all-knowing EK, did Dorsai! violate your precious territorial
waters? Hmmmm...? I think you should review your records. We have not been
anywhere near your territory. Not until we have a vaccine against the "French disease"
and the dementia obviously epidemic among your pitiful people will we
even think of bothering to conquer them to give them the uw status they crave
and so thoroughly deserve.
My army has better things to do than be bothered with the likes of your
miserable population. Shagging sheep wins out in this case.
Right, beep?
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Fri Dec 03 21:18:12 2004
que?
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Fri Dec 03 21:47:57 2004
Has Beep relaxed his immigration policies all of a sudden?
"Undocumented workers" drinking cervaza? Corrupting the youth? Pesos instead of citizen dollars?
Speaking Splanglish? Gringos spreading their pestilence
south of the border?
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Fri Dec 03 21:51:25 2004
selma hayek... 'nuff said.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Fri Dec 03 21:54:54 2004
So someone DARES compare shagging sheep with overrunning another player?
Oh, I sure hope you have been making research, DrSai, as shagging sheep
is clearly much more fun and entertaining and stuff. Right, beep?
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Fri Dec 03 22:02:41 2004
que?
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Fri Dec 03 22:09:36 2004
ATTENTION DR. SAI!
FIRST, A PATHTIC PERSON WHO MUST REFER TO SELVES IN SO-CALL
"3-PERSON" ESP. WITH A "!" AT END - SHOWS LITTLE MAN
WITH BIG PUNCTAUTIONS!
SCOND, YOU WERE THE FIST NATIO TO VOILATE THE WATERS OF EK.
THIRD I THINK THE REASON YOU ARE NOT ATTACK ME IS
BECAUSE YOU ARE A FEAR! HAVING TO ASK BEEP FOR ASSURED GIVE AWAY
YOU SCARED!!
THE MITY NATIO OF EK IS HERE AND IS GREATST!!
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Fri Dec 03 22:18:24 2004
The King has me all hot and sweaty.
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Fri Dec 03 22:31:00 2004
My lord, prepare; the Empire king comes on apace.
I thank him, that he cuts me from my tale,
For I profess not talking; only this--
Let each man do his best: and here draw I a sword
whose temper I intend to stain With the blood of Empire King
that I shall meet withal In the adventure of this perilous day
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Sat Dec 04 00:54:17 2004
ATTENTIO ALL NATION
THE QUEEEN OF THE EMPIRE KING NATION IS
HEAVY WITH CHILDS, AND HAS GONE INTO
THE FINAL PHASE OF THE SO-CALL "LABER".
SO IT IS WITH SADNESS AND JOY THAT I BID YOU ALL FAIR WELLS,
WE ARE NOW TO GO TO THAT L'HOPITAL AND
HAVE MORE EK FODDER FOR FUTURE!!
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO PARTAKE OF THE GREAT AND VAST
RESOURCE WE HAVE ON THIS TINY ISLAND!
(JUST LEAVE MY SHEEP THE F*CK ALONE)
REGARD!
EK
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Sat Dec 04 02:06:11 2004
*scrtch*scrtch*
what does that fact that his woman is spewing out a bit of protoplasm have
to do with his ability to run his country? he did his bit nine months ago and
hasn't had to do anything since but let nature take its course.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 04 04:22:20 2004
I thought I was the Queen of the empire king nation.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sat Dec 04 10:20:17 2004
Geez...you don't think his nation being down to 30 sectors has anything to do
with his bowing out now, do you? Hmmm...I sure don't--not!
And for information sake, the ! at the end of Dorsai is for the big stick, not
the big talk. Guess EK was into talk, and not the stick.
On the other hand, there was that night 9 months ago that he keeps talking
about as the highlight (and only light) of his life...
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sun Dec 05 13:33:27 2004
Notice to all mariners: Shipping around Raistmiche is now closed. You have
been warned.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sun Dec 05 14:13:37 2004
Now there is something you don't see everyday:
Income from taxes ..... +77777
> Announcement from Raistmiche, (#4) dated Sun Dec 05 15:32:34 2004
Attention all empires:
Shipping lanes are indeed troubled right now, but should be restored in a few
updates, after the annoying acts of violence from the puppet "Dorsai". You are
all welcome to attend a party in my waters, only subs,destroyers, and carriers
welcome. Free party favours.
Raistmiche
> Announcement from EmpireKing, (#13) dated Sun Dec 05 18:19:06 2004
ATENION ALL NATION!
THE MIGHTY KING OF EK IS PLAESD TO ANNOUNE THE BIRTH OF
A NEW SON LAST NIGHT 7:30 GMT-5 HOURS. 8 PDS 12 OZS, 20 1/2" LONG.
THIS WILL SIGNAL THE ERA OF A NEW EK, THE ALL NEW EK JUNIOR!
YOU HAVE BEEN WRANED!
AND BY THE WAY, DR. SAI - EAT ME!
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Sun Dec 05 19:40:42 2004
eight pounds - weight of child at birth
twelve ounces - many containers of this size were responsible for
conception of said child nine months
twenty and one-half inches - yeah, right... thought you could slide this one
past buy giving two correct facts before it; no chance.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sun Dec 05 20:06:39 2004
Congrats all around EK. But am I detecting some pre-diplomacy going
on there within your kingdom?
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sun Dec 05 20:08:11 2004
Guess all the mining is starting to finally pay off...anyone have some sheep
on a spit? Time to celebrate
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Mon Dec 06 00:13:46 2004
Congratulations to EK and best of health to the "EMPIRE PRINCE,"
a fine new addition to the empire community.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Mon Dec 06 14:30:18 2004
I'm not a male prostitute, but I play one on TV.
Are your cheeks chapped?
Is your anus angry?
Is your rectum wreaked?
then try Barsoom's Backdoor Balm!
--When sitting isn't an option--
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Mon Dec 06 14:46:27 2004
Ey wante to administere this ointment.
Wher maye ey acquire it?
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Mon Dec 06 19:53:12 2004
Mon Dec 06 10:44 FarFarAway ship hits a mine four times
must be a bad detonator...
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Mon Dec 06 22:40:44 2004
Methinks ye old' apothecary has it.
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Mon Dec 06 23:30:32 2004
Woot ye knowe ef Bungholio hase such an ointment,
thise backdoor ointment?
Ey seke thise ointment.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 07 08:53:01 2004
Alas, the Barsoom Backdoor Balm can only be purchased from
the offices of Dr. Longfinger, a nationwide proctology clinic
> Announcement from PCLoadLetter, (#10) dated Tue Dec 07 09:02:59 2004
With operations on the former EmpireKing comming to a close,
PC Loadletter is pleased to announce the availability of several
lots of essential commodities. Items include do-it-yourself fort
kits, airfield equip packs, and bridge/tower fabs. If you can't
build it at your front, why not teleport it in?
info "market abuse" :)
Also, PCLL is offering several HB and TR type planes. All A/C are
in excellent condition (100% efficiency) with only light use last
update. All are recent (tech ~100) builds. While Supplies Last!
Telegram for special volume discounts and custom builds!
Prices do no include deity tax and destination fee. 10 hour listing
delay plus 1 etu delivery time from time of order. void where prohibited.
Order as many as you like. Your mileage may vary. Not available in "blue"
states.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 07 10:02:01 2004
Now available from Empire Industries, Inc.!
Special blue-state bombers available at
discount rates!
These brand spankin' new tech 125 bombers come
with no hardpoints, and internal bomb bays sealed.
New for the 2005 BlueBomber; no other weapons either.
In fact, this plane can't bomb anything. Since it
could still hurt a fly, or be crashed into a building,
we've removed the fuel tanks as well. Great for
pushing around the tarmac and showing off what a big
air force you have!
Get yours now while supplies last!
Empire Industries, Inc.
Bringing you the best in pacifistic weapons of war
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 07 19:48:28 2004
We haven't done a detailed analysis of the power chart yet
this game, so let's take a look at the leaders on the big board.
Number of sectors is a tie between Harlot and FarFarAway. It's
shaping up for a healthy competition for the lawnboy Award.
The efficiency leader is Sunnydale (sorry wales, you don't count).
You can't get much better than 100% Unfortunately for Sunny,
the more agrressive players look at that as a challenge to knock
him down a bit.
the civ leader is Harlot again. FarFarAway is trying to catch up
but apparently his captured wales civvies all redeamed their
vasectomy coupons on the back of the Cap'n Crunch boxes. FFA has
pledged to bring in some of his own "real, fertile men" to
do the job (and the wales women)
Part of the problem with FFA may be just that all the available
men are in the armed forces. He leads the world in military size
by a significant amount. Maybe he should get to sailors drunk and
find them some $3 Thai hookers
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 07 19:56:57 2004
Tiny Dorsai! leads the world in shell production. Doing the math,
he could average 44 shells per sector and still have enough to
autograph some down at the Antiques Road Show.
guns. Once again Harlot is the winner. Just remember the old
saying - Guns don't kill people. guns and shells do.
there are 580 planes in this game. If each plane used an average of
2 petrol per flight and flew 3 missions per update (20 mob per
mission, 60 mob per update), it would take 20 updates to use all
that petrol. why dorsai has 13,000 units, is, well puzzling.
Otto Von Bismark once said that Empires are built upon blood and
iron (actually, he said blood and steel, but we don't use steel
in this game). anyway, of that's true, all Harlot needs is a bit
more blood. She leads the world in iron hording.
and speaking of hording, FFA is squirling the dust away for winter.
Rumor has it that there are 100's of prospectors wandering around
the FFA countryside looking for banks to cash in
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 07 20:06:50 2004
packs laden with dust. Part of the problem may just be the
saloons opening up that accept dust for warm beer and cold women.
Will the FFA men ever get it right!
the oil market looks like it is cornered by harlot. All topless
beaches have been closed by the Empiress so she can store rusty
oil barrels someplace.
FFA is leading the world in the aviation industry. he's got the
most planes and, if he were to try, he could go through all his
petrol supplies in about 13 updates.
Harlot ships are the most populas on the waves, along with PZ3's
poet lauriet, Shakespeare. Book your crusie packages early
as most ships sail at the update.
Harlot has a monster lead in number of units. How many of them
are actually being improved is unknown. spokeswomen for Harlot
are qouted off the record as saying that it is untrue that most
units are 10% supply units.
Of the viable nations, FFA and beep both come in with 15K. But
who really cares about that. Money is made to be spent
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 07 20:12:15 2004
and so ULKH is doing the best job. wow, one commando in his bank...
(not that I am giving any of you any ideas)
Finally, speaking of ULKH, we have had NO other entries in the
"Guess what ULKH stands for" competition. So I'll put in a
couple of more tries.
#1Umma Likes Kicking Hampers
#2Upinthere Little Kuddly Hampsters (You really are sick, ULKH, really)
#3Uber-Frau, Ladenhosen-madchen, & Klaus: Hookers
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 07 21:32:06 2004
To mine a country's sea lanes right, you need a lot of shells
> Announcement from Sunnydale, (#16) dated Tue Dec 07 22:33:49 2004
How do you put mines in the sea?
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 07 22:34:03 2004
re: Harlot's surplus of units
My guess is she either has a whole collection of HATs for winter,
or she has bought a bunch of ponies (CAVs) for her hot sorority
sisters.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 07 22:34:51 2004
info mine
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 07 22:36:20 2004
Oh, Sunnydale, just let me know where you are, and I'll be happy to show you...
:)
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Dec 07 22:47:38 2004
mining the high seas is a violation of neutral shipping rights under
international law
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 07 23:02:14 2004
Try proving they were my mines...
> Announcement from Sunnydale, (#16) dated Tue Dec 07 23:13:45 2004
I did an info mine and it seems like a truly despicable act.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 07 23:40:25 2004
ULKH = Ultra Lapdance at the Krazy Horse
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Wed Dec 08 00:13:06 2004
what's a lapdance? and it's crazy horse with a 'c' who was
a great injun war chief. don't tell someone has had the poor taste
to name some disco after him.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Wed Dec 08 08:15:16 2004
Apparently in wales, ULKH stands for "Untimely Limpness
at the Krazy Horse"
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Wed Dec 08 08:21:08 2004
I think I have located the special "ointment" that
shakespeare has been in search of:
Newswire: Dec 07, 2004
BINGHAMTON, N.Y. - A Virginia man admitted Monday
to smearing 14 jars of petroleum jelly all over an
upstate New York motel room.
Robert F. Chamberlain, 45, of McLean, gave no reason
for his actions when he appeared in court to plead
guilty to a misdemeanor charge of criminal mischief.
A Broome County judge sentenced Chamberlain to three
years of probation and ordered him to pay $3,886 in
damages to the Motel 6 in Chenango.
Authorities said Chamberlain coated every object of
the motel room with petroleum jelly in May. A cleaning
crew discovered the mess after he checked out, and he
was arrested at another motel covered in the greasy
stuff.
Chamberlain declined comment after the proceedings
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Wed Dec 08 09:15:12 2004
Unofficial League of Korean Hackeysackers
UnLimited Kentucky Hemp
Uncle Leutonia Kissed Harlot
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Dec 08 09:16:34 2004
He did not! (He has an ugly wart with a giant black hair on his
chin. <<SHIVVER>>)
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Wed Dec 08 09:38:12 2004
howe aboute Urchin-snouted Loggerheaded Knotty-pated Hedge-Pig??
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Wed Dec 08 09:40:47 2004
Keep your sick fantasies out of this!
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Wed Dec 08 10:43:34 2004
Little Egg Harbor, Leutonia (AP Wire)
Pilots in an F-18 flight inadvertently fired on a patrol
boat navigating peacefully along the Leutonia coast today.
Local citizens are outraged, and are demanding a Pentagon
investigation in light of this and a preceeding incident
(http://www.app.com/app/story/0,21625,1122218,00.html).
One of the pilots, speaking on condition of anonymity
told reporters "This was an open firing range. We were
doing what we were told. We can't help it if some
prostitute takes a joy ride on a boat into the marked
firing range".
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Wed Dec 08 11:43:15 2004
The Leutonian Coast Guard today discovered an outbreak
of mad sheep disease onboard an inbound cargo ship
from a foreign nation. Central government bureaucrats
are therefore instituting a ban on navigation in
Leutonian waters pending an investigation and testing
of world-wide sheep stock. The Minister of Sheep announced,
"While we regret having to go hostile with nations who have
not instituted a testing program, this action is vital for
the health and safety of our own sheep".
> Announcement from ULKH, (#12) dated Wed Dec 08 21:46:21 2004
Unofficial League of Korean Hackeysackers
UnLimited Kentucky Hemp
Uncle Leutonia Kissed Harlot
(189/194):
Message #190 (3 lines)
? Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Dec 08 09:16:34 2004
He did not! (He has an ugly wart with a giant black hair on his
chin. <<SHIVVER>>)
Ok... the first word is
Union of...
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 09 07:59:43 2004
Union of Little Kansas Hampsters
Union of Lettuce, Ketsup, & Hotsauce
Union of Lefthanded Kiteflying Homosapiens
Union of Let's send Kermit to Hell
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Thu Dec 09 10:34:34 2004
lucky upright and strikingly handsome
u = horseshoe = lucky
l = right angle = perpindicular = upright
k = strike out = strikingly
h cuz don't have a 'heart' symbol on his keyboard
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Thu Dec 09 17:39:49 2004
five times FarFarAway ship severely damaged in mine field
seven times FarFarAway ship hits a mine
two times FarFarAway ship severely damaged in mine field
FarFarAway ship severely damaged in mine field two times
fourteen times FarFarAway ship severely damaged in mine field
...boy, i'm sure glad that's not happening anywhere
near here...
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Thu Dec 09 19:58:28 2004
*** Important Annoucement from the Deity ***
We experienced a severe event here at the home of the Sheepfarm.
I took a power hit tonight, that lasted almost an hour. The UPS's
kicked in, and then I shut down the game about 7 minutes later
when it appeared that the power was going to be out for a while.
Things are back up now, let me know if anything appears out of the
ordinary. Sorry for the inconvenience. Bottom line: be ready!
Your Deity,
Bungy
> Announcement from Sunnydale, (#16) dated Sun Dec 12 00:51:49 2004
Looks like I've been invaded. I think I feel
a baby coming on...
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sun Dec 12 17:26:13 2004
*** Attention all Countries ***
Sigh, another important message from your deity. But this one is
good news. I have two bug fixes to report, that have been implemented.
1) The "news 1 ?action=25" bug has been fixed. You may now grep the
news for specific actions.
2) A bug in plague has been fixed. The bug was, plague was getting
stuck in "Stage II" and not progressing into "Stage III" and killing
your civs (see info plague for stages). Fortunately, we caught this
one early on in the game before there were several sectors with
the plague. This one only effected those of you who had the plague
so far, so shame on you for having unclean civvies.
Your Deity,
Bungy
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 14 07:22:33 2004
So when are we going to see some real combat?
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 14 08:13:42 2004
And now we present the Top 10 List of Audio Books to listen to
While Playing Empire
#10 The Quran, as read by Larry King
#9 John Kerry present 10 short stories sure to cure insomnia
#8 An Afair to Remember, performed by Bill Clinton
#7 A Bridge To Far, with Ted Kennedy
#6 Two Gay Guys named Bob, an Oral Roberts effort
#5 Lord of the Rings Trilogy, as read by Mel Tillis
#4 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, featuring Charles Manson
#3 A collection of Childrens Bedtime Stories, editied and read by
Andrew Dice Clay
#2 The Vegetarians Guide to the Atkins Diet, w/ karen Carpenter
#1 How to Make Friends and Influence People, Translated for
Osama Bin Laden
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 14 14:18:45 2004
Some of us have tried to engage in real combat, but when the shy folks bail,
what can you do?
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Dec 14 23:02:07 2004
today may be my last day on earth. it's going to drop down to 39F tonight;
human beings cannot survive those temperatures. maybe if i bundle up in all
available clothing and start burning old playboy magazines in the middle of
my apartment while carefully rationing my supply of peanut butter i can
survive until the snow plows can open up path to the shopping center across the
street. it's going to be a tough stretch.
> Announcement from ULKH, (#12) dated Tue Dec 14 23:03:13 2004
Beep,
Can we trade? I'm looking at 27F tonight, our high was around 37...
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Tue Dec 14 23:08:17 2004
What a bunch of babies? Shakes, give us the word from
the *real* up north, I mean I am at 19F right now, but that
must be downright balmy compared to what you must have ;)
R of partimers
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Dec 14 23:09:09 2004
You young sprouts have it good! Why, up there at the North
Pole, it's -40! Ho ho ho!
-Santa Leutonia
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Tue Dec 14 23:10:40 2004
icefog forecast tonite
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 14 23:17:05 2004
Dear Santa,
I have been a really good boy this year. I played
a bunch of empire, drank lots of beer, and hosted
three petting zoo games to help raise charity for
supporting my local petting zoos.
But the reason I am writing is because I need a new
inflatable sheep. Yep, it's true, Dolly is deflated.
It seems I loaned it off to a fellow empire player
who recently moved into the area, Temekula, and well,
seeing how he was lonely, being new to the area and
all, he somehow popped it. So I checked her out
when I got her back, and it seems she got a small
prick inside of her, and now she is deflated. It's
really sad. Dolly and I did all kinds of fun stuff
together, we watched TV, played computer games, etc.
But now I need a new inflatable friend. Can you help?
-Bungy
PS: if you can get the one with the nurse's outfit,
that would be just super duper!
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Wed Dec 15 00:07:33 2004
i am shocked at the attitude of you people. do you realize that it
may be too cold to golf tomorrow?!?!?
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Wed Dec 15 00:50:44 2004
? Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Tue Dec 14
icefog forecast tonite
ice ?? whats that ?
Shrek
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 07:59:53 2004
Are we still playing "Guess the ULKH?"
Union of Lazy Krack wHores
> Announcement from PCLoadLetter, (#10) dated Thu Dec 16 08:08:53 2004
On sale now! Bulk commodities and materials!
-PCLL
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 12:29:02 2004
Ladies,
Are you putting on a few extra holiday pounds?
Was the Thanksgiving feast just the door step to an orgy of
seasonal gluttony?
Are your stretch pants stretching just a bit too much?
Are you retaining fluid AND solids now?
Do you have to shop the bulk department at Lane Bryant Stores?
At work, do they insist that you take the frieght elevator?
Do you know all the employees at the Pondarosa buffet?
Can you even drive by a buffet without twitching?
Do clydesdales make passes at you?
When you went tot he beach, did the kids call the local TV crews
and try and push you back in the water?
Do they switch you to a center seat on a 747?
Do you only replace the driver side shocks on your car?
Can your bra fit around a 175 year old oak tree but still cut off
your circulation?
Did the guy at Ron Jon try and sell you two surfboards?
When you go to the Dress Barn, to the sales ladies just shake their
heads and say "Hmmm, I don't know..."
If so, have we got a diet program for you
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 12:40:54 2004
From Bubonic Labrotories comes our finest non-FDA approved product:
***RU-Red-E4-W8-LOSS***
This specially formed diet pill will have you shedding pounds a day.
Gone will be that annoying appetite. Also gone will be that dieter's
greatest fear - exercise. That's right, "Eat Less and Excercise"
is a thing of the past with RU-Red-E4-W8-LOSS.
How does it work? Each pill carries with it an infectious disease.
Let all those little virus and bacteria loose the weight for you.
Just think how easy it for people in the hospital to loose that
flab when they are fighting influenze, pnemonia, and the plague.
Just listen to these testimonials:
Roger
(cough) I went from 473 pounds down to 128 and all I did was
lay around in the hospital for 4 months. Best of all, my insuracne
paid for it.
Tina
Well, yeah, like it's soooo hard to weight on table with a 105
degree fever, but the tips are nicer now that my boobs just aren't
another roll of flab.
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 12:50:54 2004
Mary Joe Bobby
I coughed up enough lung that I didn't need any tobacco plugs
for spittin. Now I'm over that bad habbit and I went from a size
34 flannel shirt to a size 8. I'm givin the rest of my pills to
my fat ole ma-in-law. I figure she will either stop comin over
to our place for supper all the time, or we can get her trailer
home in her will.
Percy
All my really close friends say I look so tight in my new jeans
and silk shirt. they all thought I had AIDS when I checked into
the clinic. Boy, were they surprised to see me again. We are all
getting together tomorrow and turn my ass....
Whooooooa, that's enough testimonials. Now how can you order your
three month supply of RU-Red-E4-W8-LOSS? Well, get your fat ass
off the couch and waddle over to the phone and call 1-800-2diefor.
But wait, their more. If you call in the next 14 months, you can
receive absolutley free for only $25, your own monogrammed bed pan.
No more having to get up in the middle of thenight or day
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 12:57:43 2004
to evacuate your bowels. You won't feel like moving anyway. But
this special bed pan offer comes with the Barf from the Bed
Bucket Buddy. And every time you use the bed pan or Barf from
the Bed Bucket Buddy, just remember that you are loosing weight
the way nature intended to be lost.
Order today. Makes a great Christmas present. Hell, it makes
a great present for Birthdays, New Years, Valentines Day, Kwanzi,
Sweetest Day, Halloween, Super Bowl Sunday, Anniversary,
Graduation, and parol board review.
RU-Red-E4-W8-LOSS?
RU-Red-E4-W8-LOSS?
RU-Red-E4-W8-LOSS!
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Thu Dec 16 13:52:56 2004
That product's GOT to be from Loney Industries Inc.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 14:35:30 2004
Now let's see, who refers to me by my real name and not Overlord?
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 16:27:08 2004
Wolfpack records proudly presents Geoff Cashman and Tom Tedricks
first and only collaborative effort: Geezers Empire Christmas
Duet. It contains all your ooooooooooold favorites like:
I'll be in your cap for Christmas
Here comes Mirky-Claus
Silent Update, Holy Update
The 12 Updates of Blitzmas
Oh little town of BIG_CITY
Jingle Bars
God rest ye merry f'n as$&^#*@
We Three Co-rulers
Deck the Fodder
It came upon an update clear
Neutron Bomb Rock
Fallout wonderland
Just stuff a wad of high denomination bills into an envelope and
send to:
A very Merry Christmas for Overlord
PO Box #1
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Fri Dec 17 08:37:45 2004
The Petting Zoo II Rap, by Bang Master Baa Baa
Curley little 4 legs, get the fu@% over here
Those my damn f'n sectors
Shave your a$$ and sell your wool
buy me more planes and tanks and run yo a$$ outta here
Four legged ho, you only $2.99 a pound at the butcher
Hmmm, you better do the dirty or I'll get a jar mint jelly
I'll take your bars and uw's. I'll shoot your civs.
Bang Bang. I'll shoot your civs
Baa Wacka Wacka Wacka Baa Boom Boom
Your friend gonna like me too. I'll take the black sheep.
Then I'll come back for you.
Red hot charcoal and grapevines if you don't like it
F'n A
F'n A
F'n A
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Fri Dec 17 11:25:18 2004
Never step on the switch for your surge suppressor
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 10:14:26 2004
Service charges? ATM fees?
Sorry sir, I must have left my checkbook in the other purse.
Daddy, please send money... :{
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Dec 18 10:17:16 2004
Looks like Harlot found a good sale on HATs and ponies (CAVs)
after all.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Sat Dec 18 11:01:40 2004
Oh England! How could your bard sink so low as to finance harlotry?
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Dec 18 14:33:38 2004
We have another bug fix implemented, effective immediately.
This one is a bit tricky to explain. It has to do with
sonar detection by ships or ASW planes of ships. The code
was using an unsigned char (0-255) to store uid (Unit #),
so it wraps at 256. A ship with ship # above 255 will not
be checked if the ship with modulus of 256 exists in the
sonar, basically a prettly low chance that any given ship
was completely not detectable due to this bug due to having
an identical last 8 bits in it's uid# and having a higher
uid#. A thanks to RonK for finding this (and trying to
explain it to me).
Examples of the bug:
If 0 exists then 256, 512,768,etc will not be checked.
If 1 exists then 257,513,769,etc will not be checked.
if 255 exists then 511,767,1023,etc will not be checked.
if 256 exists then 512,768,1024,etc will not be checked.
etc.
-Bungy
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 15:29:46 2004
For love of Queen and Crown!
England has such a fine tradition of supporting our efforts.
In fact, the Victorian age was quite good for business...
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Sat Dec 18 15:36:46 2004
How smart a lash that speech Leutonia doth give my conscience!
The harlot?s cheek, beautied with plastering art,
Is not more ugly to the thing that helps it
Than is my deed to my most painted word
O heavy burden!
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 16:30:16 2004
Loose morals? Character?
Hypocrisy, I have none.
From yonder window
Enticing light shines for thee.
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Sat Dec 18 17:08:14 2004
Is but a preface of Harlot's worthy praise:
The cheefe perfections of that louely Dame,
(Had I sufficient skill to vtter them)
Would make a volume of inticing lines,
Able to rauish any dull conceit.
And which is more, she is not so Diuine,
So full repleate with choice of all delights,
But with as humble lowlinesse of minde,
She is content to be at your command:
Command I meane, of Vertuous chaste intents
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sat Dec 18 19:50:29 2004
Romance in the heat of battle?! Don't you just love it? Where else but in
the Petting Zoo III...
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 20:17:30 2004
Romance?
I'm expecting a whole party of gentleman callers
to come a knockin' soon.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Sat Dec 18 20:19:57 2004
I wouldn't ask the empire community to define 'gentleman' :)
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 20:25:24 2004
The term "gentleman" is used loosely.
Especially after Beep has given us a social disease
that no medical breakthrough has been able to cure yet.
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Sat Dec 18 20:31:40 2004
Up with my war tent, valiant gentlemen,
Let us suruey the vantage of the field,
Call for some men of sound direction,
Lets want no discipline, make no delaie,
For Lordes, tomorrow is a busie day.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Dec 18 20:32:00 2004
Romance... classic.... I was beginning to wonder myself, if we have
our first Petting Zoo 'luv connection. (or at least the first one
between humans and humans, versus humans and sheep)
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sat Dec 18 20:59:51 2004
Looking at some of the tactics used to date, sheep to sheep seems more fitting
as a characterization.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Sat Dec 18 21:02:12 2004
And what are we to make of our beloved deity speaking of
romance on a Saturday night in Empire? Me thinks he's
parked in front of a TV watching re-runs of every
Serta commercial (he has them all taped).
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Sat Dec 18 21:57:39 2004
we did not give you any such disease, wench. our peace corps volunteers had
bravely moved into anquiron in plenty of time to contain the infestation, but your
extra-national terrorist groups moved into to destroy and disrupt the relief effort.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 22:03:53 2004
Yea Beep.
And your wife got HIV from the dentist...
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Sat Dec 18 22:41:31 2004
tain't got no wife, wench; so's you can kiss any of your schemes of
blackmail by made-up accounts of dalliances bye-bye.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Sat Dec 18 22:50:40 2004
domestic partner?
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 23:16:42 2004
Blackmail?
How can the reputation of foulest carrion be sullied?
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 23:55:14 2004
Wow.
Michael Vick is amazing.
He can come to my house anytime.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sun Dec 19 10:08:14 2004
Reading the Harlot-beep exchanges, it's so nice to know Neanderthals haven't
yet gone extinct
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Mon Dec 20 16:50:53 2004
Mon Dec 20 16:11 Harlot violates Nova
now isn't that a fancy twist. Just let it be known that I
could not have done it without all my toys
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Mon Dec 20 18:36:47 2004
It looks like we have another small bug, this one won't be fixed
here in the Petting Zoo anytime soon, so I'm informing all of you
for how to avoid it, as I won't be making any adjustments or
compensation for peeps. If you are naving a ship while the update
fires, that ship does not get credited with new mobility.
This may also effect land units, planes, sectors, etc, or it
may not (not tested). You have been warned.
-Bungy
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Mon Dec 20 23:01:59 2004
*sigh* christmas sux.
brother sez to just give the niecelings some money, cuz that's what he and
sis-in-law are doing. i figger that's just to impersonal, gotta give the little
princesses some bling. figger $100-$150 ought to be able to buy some reasonable
nice-sized piece of not-precious-but-not-crap-either bit of sparkle... jeezus h. christ.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 21 08:36:26 2004
(((Innapropriate comment about beep's niecelings deleted.)))
> Announcement from PCLoadLetter, (#10) dated Tue Dec 21 08:43:45 2004
Have you considered one of these?
http://www.apple.com/ipodmini/
(if the niecelings don't already have one that is)
From the apple web page:
Oh, one other minor detail, you can choose your iPod mini in one of five
trend-setting colors: silver, gold, green, pink or blue, all shiny.
Which makes me wonder sort of sector do I need to manufacture bling-blings?
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 21 09:02:26 2004
bling-bling's are manufactured in a two-step process. first they
are mined in a 'u' sector, then processed in a 'n' sector.
> Announcement from PCLoadLetter, (#10) dated Tue Dec 21 09:08:08 2004
What tech level is needed?
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Dec 21 18:38:44 2004
thanx for the suggestion, but i decided just to get them a
gift certificate to frederick's of hollywood instead.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Tue Dec 21 18:39:56 2004
**SIGH**
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 21 18:44:00 2004
Why not just get something for'm direct out of Latex Life? You wouldn't have to spend
on parking or gasoline, either.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 21 20:12:08 2004
you have several new sheep waiting...
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Dec 21 21:19:04 2004
what the hell is 'latex life'? one is a freshman in college, one is a freshman in
high school. it is important for their self-esteem at these critical junctures in
life that they feel popular with their peers... hence the gift certificates.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 21 21:20:48 2004
(((INAPPROPRIATE ANNO DELETED!!!!)))
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 21 21:32:13 2004
Gee, newbies in college and high school, seeking acceptance from their peers--
what could be better than some of the wonders of the season now available in
Latex Life? There's even Latex Life Gothic, which I understand is all the
rage at Bush League University, home of the Quayle Seekers. More to the
point, with all that latex on them, they'll be safe no matter what their
non-scholastic activities may be (and even for some of the scholastic ones)
now that (at least the college one) is so far from the watchful eyes of their
parents.
Latex Life Gothic--the gift that keeps on giving.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 21 21:33:51 2004
Oh, and Latex Life is a magazine referenced at least once on MASH several
years back.
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Dec 21 23:07:17 2004
you people are sick. i'm doing whatever i can to help my little angels
in the difficult transition from teen to adult and all you do is make
snarky comments. you should be ashamed of yourselves.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 21 23:14:52 2004
beep, I wish to extend my humblest appologies on behalf of the group,
as I can tell you are trying to keep your niecelings pure and clean.
But you should know better than to bring them up in a group forum
such as this. These guys were just trying to offer some real-life
know-how for how they can be "more popular", if you know what I mean...
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Dec 21 23:25:14 2004
many group forums are *supportive* of their participants, rather than choosing
to cut them down. now if someone had said "dude, fredericks is to extreme... just go with
victoria's secret for the older neice but stick with gap for the younger"
then that would have been supportive. not sure what i would do with my fredericks
certificates then but at least it would have shown some sense of a common bond
of caring what happens in each others lives.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Wed Dec 22 08:24:34 2004
Now that you mention it, Victoria's Secret may have been a more educational
choice than Frederick's, but as their uncle, you probably have a better idea
than I do of the educational "opportunities" present at their respective
institutions. Perhaps it would have been better to simply get each a sheep?
Lots of life's lessons to be learned there...
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Wed Dec 22 14:43:21 2004
Victoria's secrets??
Bid her come hither,
She sayes enough, yet she's a simple bawde,
That cannot say as much: this is a subtle whore,
A closet, locke and key, of villainous secrets
And yet shee'll kneele and pray, I ha seene her do't.
Dost she hath the balm?
Dis backdoor balm?
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Dec 22 17:14:47 2004
Dashing through Nova (jing jing jing)
With a damaged infantry (jing jing jing)
Over the mountains we go
Shelling all we see...
Converting civ's to slaves
And killing che for fun
What fun it is to slash and burn
Everywhere we go
Ohhhhhhhh
Rain some shells, the body count swells
Sack a cap today
Drive him broke, as his sectors smoke
and join the bloody fray, hey!
Bomb some banks, attack with tanks
Don't know where to start
Death grip firm, so he can't squirm
And he falls off the power chart
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Wed Dec 22 17:21:25 2004
Harlot
Your iambic pentameter is off a bit, better
consult with Shakespeare.
Shrek
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Dec 22 17:23:24 2004
hey, only so much material to work with!)
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Wed Dec 22 19:06:40 2004
I think if I were Leutonia, right now, I'd ask Santa for a war between FFA and
Harlot. That's the only hope, and even that is stretching it quite a bit
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Wed Dec 22 19:39:01 2004
Skimming over these annos, I get something about
stretching Santa and Victoria's Secret.
Hmm.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Dec 22 21:29:40 2004
oh man, the jolly ole fat man in a push-up bra and angel wings.
Would you please stop Leutonia!
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Thu Dec 23 00:33:03 2004
It's your sick fantasy!
> Announcement from Nova, (#6) dated Thu Dec 23 05:02:06 2004
It's nice to see Harlot's several carries sinking ;)
My only job is kill all enemy ships. And I had done
my work such well. Sorry Harlot ;)
> Announcement from ULKH, (#12) dated Wed Dec 08 21:46:21 2004
Unofficial League of Korean Hackeysackers
UnLimited Kentucky Hemp
Uncle Leutonia Kissed Harlot
(189/194):
Message #190 (3 lines)
? Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Dec 08 09:16:34 2004
He did not! (He has an ugly wart with a giant black hair on his
chin. <<SHIVVER>>)
Ok... the first word is
Union of...
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 09 07:59:43 2004
Union of Little Kansas Hampsters
Union of Lettuce, Ketsup, & Hotsauce
Union of Lefthanded Kiteflying Homosapiens
Union of Let's send Kermit to Hell
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Thu Dec 09 10:34:34 2004
lucky upright and strikingly handsome
u = horseshoe = lucky
l = right angle = perpindicular = upright
k = strike out = strikingly
h cuz don't have a 'heart' symbol on his keyboard
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Thu Dec 09 17:39:49 2004
five times FarFarAway ship severely damaged in mine field
seven times FarFarAway ship hits a mine
two times FarFarAway ship severely damaged in mine field
FarFarAway ship severely damaged in mine field two times
fourteen times FarFarAway ship severely damaged in mine field
...boy, i'm sure glad that's not happening anywhere
near here...
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Thu Dec 09 19:58:28 2004
*** Important Annoucement from the Deity ***
We experienced a severe event here at the home of the Sheepfarm.
I took a power hit tonight, that lasted almost an hour. The UPS's
kicked in, and then I shut down the game about 7 minutes later
when it appeared that the power was going to be out for a while.
Things are back up now, let me know if anything appears out of the
ordinary. Sorry for the inconvenience. Bottom line: be ready!
Your Deity,
Bungy
> Announcement from Sunnydale, (#16) dated Sun Dec 12 00:51:49 2004
Looks like I've been invaded. I think I feel
a baby coming on...
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sun Dec 12 17:26:13 2004
*** Attention all Countries ***
Sigh, another important message from your deity. But this one is
good news. I have two bug fixes to report, that have been implemented.
1) The "news 1 ?action=25" bug has been fixed. You may now grep the
news for specific actions.
2) A bug in plague has been fixed. The bug was, plague was getting
stuck in "Stage II" and not progressing into "Stage III" and killing
your civs (see info plague for stages). Fortunately, we caught this
one early on in the game before there were several sectors with
the plague. This one only effected those of you who had the plague
so far, so shame on you for having unclean civvies.
Your Deity,
Bungy
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 14 07:22:33 2004
So when are we going to see some real combat?
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 14 08:13:42 2004
And now we present the Top 10 List of Audio Books to listen to
While Playing Empire
#10 The Quran, as read by Larry King
#9 John Kerry present 10 short stories sure to cure insomnia
#8 An Afair to Remember, performed by Bill Clinton
#7 A Bridge To Far, with Ted Kennedy
#6 Two Gay Guys named Bob, an Oral Roberts effort
#5 Lord of the Rings Trilogy, as read by Mel Tillis
#4 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, featuring Charles Manson
#3 A collection of Childrens Bedtime Stories, editied and read by
Andrew Dice Clay
#2 The Vegetarians Guide to the Atkins Diet, w/ karen Carpenter
#1 How to Make Friends and Influence People, Translated for
Osama Bin Laden
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 14 14:18:45 2004
Some of us have tried to engage in real combat, but when the shy folks bail,
what can you do?
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Dec 14 23:02:07 2004
today may be my last day on earth. it's going to drop down to 39F tonight;
human beings cannot survive those temperatures. maybe if i bundle up in all
available clothing and start burning old playboy magazines in the middle of
my apartment while carefully rationing my supply of peanut butter i can
survive until the snow plows can open up path to the shopping center across the
street. it's going to be a tough stretch.
> Announcement from ULKH, (#12) dated Tue Dec 14 23:03:13 2004
Beep,
Can we trade? I'm looking at 27F tonight, our high was around 37...
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Tue Dec 14 23:08:17 2004
What a bunch of babies? Shakes, give us the word from
the *real* up north, I mean I am at 19F right now, but that
must be downright balmy compared to what you must have ;)
R of partimers
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Dec 14 23:09:09 2004
You young sprouts have it good! Why, up there at the North
Pole, it's -40! Ho ho ho!
-Santa Leutonia
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Tue Dec 14 23:10:40 2004
icefog forecast tonite
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 14 23:17:05 2004
Dear Santa,
I have been a really good boy this year. I played
a bunch of empire, drank lots of beer, and hosted
three petting zoo games to help raise charity for
supporting my local petting zoos.
But the reason I am writing is because I need a new
inflatable sheep. Yep, it's true, Dolly is deflated.
It seems I loaned it off to a fellow empire player
who recently moved into the area, Temekula, and well,
seeing how he was lonely, being new to the area and
all, he somehow popped it. So I checked her out
when I got her back, and it seems she got a small
prick inside of her, and now she is deflated. It's
really sad. Dolly and I did all kinds of fun stuff
together, we watched TV, played computer games, etc.
But now I need a new inflatable friend. Can you help?
-Bungy
PS: if you can get the one with the nurse's outfit,
that would be just super duper!
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Wed Dec 15 00:07:33 2004
i am shocked at the attitude of you people. do you realize that it
may be too cold to golf tomorrow?!?!?
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Wed Dec 15 00:50:44 2004
? Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Tue Dec 14
icefog forecast tonite
ice ?? whats that ?
Shrek
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 07:59:53 2004
Are we still playing "Guess the ULKH?"
Union of Lazy Krack wHores
> Announcement from PCLoadLetter, (#10) dated Thu Dec 16 08:08:53 2004
On sale now! Bulk commodities and materials!
-PCLL
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 12:29:02 2004
Ladies,
Are you putting on a few extra holiday pounds?
Was the Thanksgiving feast just the door step to an orgy of
seasonal gluttony?
Are your stretch pants stretching just a bit too much?
Are you retaining fluid AND solids now?
Do you have to shop the bulk department at Lane Bryant Stores?
At work, do they insist that you take the frieght elevator?
Do you know all the employees at the Pondarosa buffet?
Can you even drive by a buffet without twitching?
Do clydesdales make passes at you?
When you went tot he beach, did the kids call the local TV crews
and try and push you back in the water?
Do they switch you to a center seat on a 747?
Do you only replace the driver side shocks on your car?
Can your bra fit around a 175 year old oak tree but still cut off
your circulation?
Did the guy at Ron Jon try and sell you two surfboards?
When you go to the Dress Barn, to the sales ladies just shake their
heads and say "Hmmm, I don't know..."
If so, have we got a diet program for you
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 12:40:54 2004
From Bubonic Labrotories comes our finest non-FDA approved product:
***RU-Red-E4-W8-LOSS***
This specially formed diet pill will have you shedding pounds a day.
Gone will be that annoying appetite. Also gone will be that dieter's
greatest fear - exercise. That's right, "Eat Less and Excercise"
is a thing of the past with RU-Red-E4-W8-LOSS.
How does it work? Each pill carries with it an infectious disease.
Let all those little virus and bacteria loose the weight for you.
Just think how easy it for people in the hospital to loose that
flab when they are fighting influenze, pnemonia, and the plague.
Just listen to these testimonials:
Roger
(cough) I went from 473 pounds down to 128 and all I did was
lay around in the hospital for 4 months. Best of all, my insuracne
paid for it.
Tina
Well, yeah, like it's soooo hard to weight on table with a 105
degree fever, but the tips are nicer now that my boobs just aren't
another roll of flab.
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 12:50:54 2004
Mary Joe Bobby
I coughed up enough lung that I didn't need any tobacco plugs
for spittin. Now I'm over that bad habbit and I went from a size
34 flannel shirt to a size 8. I'm givin the rest of my pills to
my fat ole ma-in-law. I figure she will either stop comin over
to our place for supper all the time, or we can get her trailer
home in her will.
Percy
All my really close friends say I look so tight in my new jeans
and silk shirt. they all thought I had AIDS when I checked into
the clinic. Boy, were they surprised to see me again. We are all
getting together tomorrow and turn my ass....
Whooooooa, that's enough testimonials. Now how can you order your
three month supply of RU-Red-E4-W8-LOSS? Well, get your fat ass
off the couch and waddle over to the phone and call 1-800-2diefor.
But wait, their more. If you call in the next 14 months, you can
receive absolutley free for only $25, your own monogrammed bed pan.
No more having to get up in the middle of thenight or day
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 12:57:43 2004
to evacuate your bowels. You won't feel like moving anyway. But
this special bed pan offer comes with the Barf from the Bed
Bucket Buddy. And every time you use the bed pan or Barf from
the Bed Bucket Buddy, just remember that you are loosing weight
the way nature intended to be lost.
Order today. Makes a great Christmas present. Hell, it makes
a great present for Birthdays, New Years, Valentines Day, Kwanzi,
Sweetest Day, Halloween, Super Bowl Sunday, Anniversary,
Graduation, and parol board review.
RU-Red-E4-W8-LOSS?
RU-Red-E4-W8-LOSS?
RU-Red-E4-W8-LOSS!
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Thu Dec 16 13:52:56 2004
That product's GOT to be from Loney Industries Inc.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 14:35:30 2004
Now let's see, who refers to me by my real name and not Overlord?
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 16 16:27:08 2004
Wolfpack records proudly presents Geoff Cashman and Tom Tedricks
first and only collaborative effort: Geezers Empire Christmas
Duet. It contains all your ooooooooooold favorites like:
I'll be in your cap for Christmas
Here comes Mirky-Claus
Silent Update, Holy Update
The 12 Updates of Blitzmas
Oh little town of BIG_CITY
Jingle Bars
God rest ye merry f'n as$&^#*@
We Three Co-rulers
Deck the Fodder
It came upon an update clear
Neutron Bomb Rock
Fallout wonderland
Just stuff a wad of high denomination bills into an envelope and
send to:
A very Merry Christmas for Overlord
PO Box #1
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Fri Dec 17 08:37:45 2004
The Petting Zoo II Rap, by Bang Master Baa Baa
Curley little 4 legs, get the fu@% over here
Those my damn f'n sectors
Shave your a$$ and sell your wool
buy me more planes and tanks and run yo a$$ outta here
Four legged ho, you only $2.99 a pound at the butcher
Hmmm, you better do the dirty or I'll get a jar mint jelly
I'll take your bars and uw's. I'll shoot your civs.
Bang Bang. I'll shoot your civs
Baa Wacka Wacka Wacka Baa Boom Boom
Your friend gonna like me too. I'll take the black sheep.
Then I'll come back for you.
Red hot charcoal and grapevines if you don't like it
F'n A
F'n A
F'n A
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Fri Dec 17 11:25:18 2004
Never step on the switch for your surge suppressor
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 10:14:26 2004
Service charges? ATM fees?
Sorry sir, I must have left my checkbook in the other purse.
Daddy, please send money... :{
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Dec 18 10:17:16 2004
Looks like Harlot found a good sale on HATs and ponies (CAVs)
after all.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Sat Dec 18 11:01:40 2004
Oh England! How could your bard sink so low as to finance harlotry?
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Dec 18 14:33:38 2004
We have another bug fix implemented, effective immediately.
This one is a bit tricky to explain. It has to do with
sonar detection by ships or ASW planes of ships. The code
was using an unsigned char (0-255) to store uid (Unit #),
so it wraps at 256. A ship with ship # above 255 will not
be checked if the ship with modulus of 256 exists in the
sonar, basically a prettly low chance that any given ship
was completely not detectable due to this bug due to having
an identical last 8 bits in it's uid# and having a higher
uid#. A thanks to RonK for finding this (and trying to
explain it to me).
Examples of the bug:
If 0 exists then 256, 512,768,etc will not be checked.
If 1 exists then 257,513,769,etc will not be checked.
if 255 exists then 511,767,1023,etc will not be checked.
if 256 exists then 512,768,1024,etc will not be checked.
etc.
-Bungy
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 15:29:46 2004
For love of Queen and Crown!
England has such a fine tradition of supporting our efforts.
In fact, the Victorian age was quite good for business...
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Sat Dec 18 15:36:46 2004
How smart a lash that speech Leutonia doth give my conscience!
The harlot?s cheek, beautied with plastering art,
Is not more ugly to the thing that helps it
Than is my deed to my most painted word
O heavy burden!
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 16:30:16 2004
Loose morals? Character?
Hypocrisy, I have none.
From yonder window
Enticing light shines for thee.
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Sat Dec 18 17:08:14 2004
Is but a preface of Harlot's worthy praise:
The cheefe perfections of that louely Dame,
(Had I sufficient skill to vtter them)
Would make a volume of inticing lines,
Able to rauish any dull conceit.
And which is more, she is not so Diuine,
So full repleate with choice of all delights,
But with as humble lowlinesse of minde,
She is content to be at your command:
Command I meane, of Vertuous chaste intents
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sat Dec 18 19:50:29 2004
Romance in the heat of battle?! Don't you just love it? Where else but in
the Petting Zoo III...
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 20:17:30 2004
Romance?
I'm expecting a whole party of gentleman callers
to come a knockin' soon.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Sat Dec 18 20:19:57 2004
I wouldn't ask the empire community to define 'gentleman' :)
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 20:25:24 2004
The term "gentleman" is used loosely.
Especially after Beep has given us a social disease
that no medical breakthrough has been able to cure yet.
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Sat Dec 18 20:31:40 2004
Up with my war tent, valiant gentlemen,
Let us suruey the vantage of the field,
Call for some men of sound direction,
Lets want no discipline, make no delaie,
For Lordes, tomorrow is a busie day.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Sat Dec 18 20:32:00 2004
Romance... classic.... I was beginning to wonder myself, if we have
our first Petting Zoo 'luv connection. (or at least the first one
between humans and humans, versus humans and sheep)
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sat Dec 18 20:59:51 2004
Looking at some of the tactics used to date, sheep to sheep seems more fitting
as a characterization.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Sat Dec 18 21:02:12 2004
And what are we to make of our beloved deity speaking of
romance on a Saturday night in Empire? Me thinks he's
parked in front of a TV watching re-runs of every
Serta commercial (he has them all taped).
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Sat Dec 18 21:57:39 2004
we did not give you any such disease, wench. our peace corps volunteers had
bravely moved into anquiron in plenty of time to contain the infestation, but your
extra-national terrorist groups moved into to destroy and disrupt the relief effort.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 22:03:53 2004
Yea Beep.
And your wife got HIV from the dentist...
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Sat Dec 18 22:41:31 2004
tain't got no wife, wench; so's you can kiss any of your schemes of
blackmail by made-up accounts of dalliances bye-bye.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Sat Dec 18 22:50:40 2004
domestic partner?
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 23:16:42 2004
Blackmail?
How can the reputation of foulest carrion be sullied?
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Dec 18 23:55:14 2004
Wow.
Michael Vick is amazing.
He can come to my house anytime.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sun Dec 19 10:08:14 2004
Reading the Harlot-beep exchanges, it's so nice to know Neanderthals haven't
yet gone extinct
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Mon Dec 20 16:50:53 2004
Mon Dec 20 16:11 Harlot violates Nova
now isn't that a fancy twist. Just let it be known that I
could not have done it without all my toys
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Mon Dec 20 18:36:47 2004
It looks like we have another small bug, this one won't be fixed
here in the Petting Zoo anytime soon, so I'm informing all of you
for how to avoid it, as I won't be making any adjustments or
compensation for peeps. If you are naving a ship while the update
fires, that ship does not get credited with new mobility.
This may also effect land units, planes, sectors, etc, or it
may not (not tested). You have been warned.
-Bungy
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Mon Dec 20 23:01:59 2004
*sigh* christmas sux.
brother sez to just give the niecelings some money, cuz that's what he and
sis-in-law are doing. i figger that's just to impersonal, gotta give the little
princesses some bling. figger $100-$150 ought to be able to buy some reasonable
nice-sized piece of not-precious-but-not-crap-either bit of sparkle... jeezus h. christ.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 21 08:36:26 2004
(((Innapropriate comment about beep's niecelings deleted.)))
> Announcement from PCLoadLetter, (#10) dated Tue Dec 21 08:43:45 2004
Have you considered one of these?
http://www.apple.com/ipodmini/
(if the niecelings don't already have one that is)
From the apple web page:
Oh, one other minor detail, you can choose your iPod mini in one of five
trend-setting colors: silver, gold, green, pink or blue, all shiny.
Which makes me wonder sort of sector do I need to manufacture bling-blings?
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 21 09:02:26 2004
bling-bling's are manufactured in a two-step process. first they
are mined in a 'u' sector, then processed in a 'n' sector.
> Announcement from PCLoadLetter, (#10) dated Tue Dec 21 09:08:08 2004
What tech level is needed?
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Dec 21 18:38:44 2004
thanx for the suggestion, but i decided just to get them a
gift certificate to frederick's of hollywood instead.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Tue Dec 21 18:39:56 2004
**SIGH**
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 21 18:44:00 2004
Why not just get something for'm direct out of Latex Life? You wouldn't have to spend
on parking or gasoline, either.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 21 20:12:08 2004
you have several new sheep waiting...
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Dec 21 21:19:04 2004
what the hell is 'latex life'? one is a freshman in college, one is a freshman in
high school. it is important for their self-esteem at these critical junctures in
life that they feel popular with their peers... hence the gift certificates.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 21 21:20:48 2004
(((INAPPROPRIATE ANNO DELETED!!!!)))
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 21 21:32:13 2004
Gee, newbies in college and high school, seeking acceptance from their peers--
what could be better than some of the wonders of the season now available in
Latex Life? There's even Latex Life Gothic, which I understand is all the
rage at Bush League University, home of the Quayle Seekers. More to the
point, with all that latex on them, they'll be safe no matter what their
non-scholastic activities may be (and even for some of the scholastic ones)
now that (at least the college one) is so far from the watchful eyes of their
parents.
Latex Life Gothic--the gift that keeps on giving.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 21 21:33:51 2004
Oh, and Latex Life is a magazine referenced at least once on MASH several
years back.
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Dec 21 23:07:17 2004
you people are sick. i'm doing whatever i can to help my little angels
in the difficult transition from teen to adult and all you do is make
snarky comments. you should be ashamed of yourselves.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Dec 21 23:14:52 2004
beep, I wish to extend my humblest appologies on behalf of the group,
as I can tell you are trying to keep your niecelings pure and clean.
But you should know better than to bring them up in a group forum
such as this. These guys were just trying to offer some real-life
know-how for how they can be "more popular", if you know what I mean...
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Dec 21 23:25:14 2004
many group forums are *supportive* of their participants, rather than choosing
to cut them down. now if someone had said "dude, fredericks is to extreme... just go with
victoria's secret for the older neice but stick with gap for the younger"
then that would have been supportive. not sure what i would do with my fredericks
certificates then but at least it would have shown some sense of a common bond
of caring what happens in each others lives.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Wed Dec 22 08:24:34 2004
Now that you mention it, Victoria's Secret may have been a more educational
choice than Frederick's, but as their uncle, you probably have a better idea
than I do of the educational "opportunities" present at their respective
institutions. Perhaps it would have been better to simply get each a sheep?
Lots of life's lessons to be learned there...
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Wed Dec 22 14:43:21 2004
Victoria's secrets??
Bid her come hither,
She sayes enough, yet she's a simple bawde,
That cannot say as much: this is a subtle whore,
A closet, locke and key, of villainous secrets
And yet shee'll kneele and pray, I ha seene her do't.
Dost she hath the balm?
Dis backdoor balm?
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Dec 22 17:14:47 2004
Dashing through Nova (jing jing jing)
With a damaged infantry (jing jing jing)
Over the mountains we go
Shelling all we see...
Converting civ's to slaves
And killing che for fun
What fun it is to slash and burn
Everywhere we go
Ohhhhhhhh
Rain some shells, the body count swells
Sack a cap today
Drive him broke, as his sectors smoke
and join the bloody fray, hey!
Bomb some banks, attack with tanks
Don't know where to start
Death grip firm, so he can't squirm
And he falls off the power chart
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Wed Dec 22 17:21:25 2004
Harlot
Your iambic pentameter is off a bit, better
consult with Shakespeare.
Shrek
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Dec 22 17:23:24 2004
hey, only so much material to work with!)
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Wed Dec 22 19:06:40 2004
I think if I were Leutonia, right now, I'd ask Santa for a war between FFA and
Harlot. That's the only hope, and even that is stretching it quite a bit
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Wed Dec 22 19:39:01 2004
Skimming over these annos, I get something about
stretching Santa and Victoria's Secret.
Hmm.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Dec 22 21:29:40 2004
oh man, the jolly ole fat man in a push-up bra and angel wings.
Would you please stop Leutonia!
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Thu Dec 23 00:33:03 2004
It's your sick fantasy!
> Announcement from Nova, (#6) dated Thu Dec 23 05:02:06 2004
It's nice to see Harlot's several carries sinking ;)
My only job is kill all enemy ships. And I had done
my work such well. Sorry Harlot ;)
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Thu Dec 23 16:58:35 2004
'twas the update before christmas, and all thru the zoo,
not a keyboard was quiet, cause everyone knew,
IT IS GONNA BE BRUNGST!
> Announcement from Nova, (#6) dated Thu Dec 23 17:26:52 2004
Aarrggh, I see red spots: PLAGUE!! Disease on Nova's main island !
There are rats, sorry, correction, meaning Harlot's soldies.. My nation are dying,
warning, Harlot's soldiers give that to us.
> Announcement from Nova, (#6) dated Thu Dec 23 17:27:56 2004
Sector -4,4 has been retaken!
Outbreak of PLAGUE in -4,4!
Sector -2,4 has been retaken!
-2,4 battling PLAGUE
Sector -3,5 has been retaken!
-3,5 battling PLAGUE
Sector -6,6 has been retaken!
-6,6 battling PLAGUE
Sector -4,6 has been retaken!
-4,6 battling PLAGUE
Sector -5,7 has been retaken!
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Thu Dec 23 17:29:49 2004
We ran out of penecillian, so we're just using bullets now.
and besides, there is no more "Nova's main island"
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Thu Dec 23 17:35:33 2004
Penecillian? What, is that harlot-speak to describe
your silly penis?
> Announcement from Nova, (#6) dated Thu Dec 23 17:37:34 2004
yeah, bullets to your head, that's ok.
But remember, suiside is not solution!
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Thu Dec 23 21:21:29 2004
Let's not get too hasty, now. Realistically, if I were beep and one of
my sibs found out that I gave their daughter a Gothic latex outfit, I'd
give a lot of thought to suicide. Although maybe offering a sheep would
suffice...hmmm, need to give that one some thought.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sun Dec 26 20:11:54 2004
He who does not pay his tailor in summer
shall frezze in winter
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Mon Dec 27 18:32:35 2004
And here I always thought the saying was
He who doesn't pay the coal hauler in the summer...
Don't mind me. Back to the shagging...
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Mon Dec 27 22:25:29 2004
Current estimates suggest Indonesia alone lost 25K to the tsunamis.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Mon Dec 27 22:43:18 2004
Good Americans usually die young on the Battlefield, but...
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Mon Dec 27 23:41:39 2004
Ein Prosit!
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Mon Dec 27 23:46:19 2004
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 28 00:06:22 2004
Estimates have now been raised to 40K+
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 28 14:26:12 2004
Well now that Christmas has passed us by this year, we can now look
forward to the more secular and politically correct New Year's
Holiday. And of course New Years means parties. And parties
mean food. So I have collected some of the Empire communities
best party food recipies for your holiday enjoyment.
Appatizers:
AK's Cherries Jubilee
2 cups bing cherries, 2 cups brandy
Eat Cherries*
Chug brandy
*Optional
Wolfpack Rum Cake Surprise
1 5th of rum
and there is no cake - SURPRISE!
Desserts:
Metallica's Horse Semen Surprise
Uh, Doug, you want to give the details on this one please?
Amber and Arrakis Baked Alaska
1 5th tequellia, 1 liter red wine, 12 bottles malt liquor,
one of those wine in a box thingies, a case of Moosehead, a jack
daniels 25.6 oz sampler bottle, $20 worth of Charles Swan Napa
Valley white, and a sponge cake.
Mix liquid ingredients. Consume. Vomit. Clean up mess with
sponge cake.
So now that we have had enough to eat, how about some ideas for
(cont)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Dec 28 14:36:57 2004
mixers? Well, I've collected a few of those too.
Mithrillien's Southern Comfort Punch
1 5th 100 proof Souther Comfort (not that 80 proof crap)
Serves one.
Plundaria's Extra Dry Martini
Gin (lots)
Pour gin in a large glass. Drink liberally while looking at a
picture of the inventor of vermouth.
Parpara's Vodka Slush Swirll
1 5th goooooooooooooood imported vodka
1 shot glass
Chill liquid ingredients with dry ice. Pour into shot glass.
Drink. (Smooth, isn't it!) Repeat.
Overlord's Spontaneous Combustion
1 bushel habenero peppers
5 pounds sugar
10 packets instant yeast
Add all ingredients to still. heat and distill. Repeat to remove
impurities until 180 proof. (Warning: Drink only when standing in
the ocean, pool, of filled bathtub.)
Classic MIT Guys Pink Lady
1 bottle TJ Swan
1 stripper
pour cheap wine over cheap hooker. Then gang lick.
GaTech Night Cap
1 5th 12 year old Scotch
1 straw
Note that if you have a date, bring a second straw.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Dec 28 14:57:17 2004
?
?Then gang lick
?
You're going to start a trend with talk like that Pat!
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Dec 28 21:19:24 2004
Kind of interesting that in the power charts, having a sector doesn't seem
to count for much
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Tue Dec 28 22:19:17 2004
tsstg: tallahassee, fl. check-in girl at hilton sez, "palm bay, where's that?"
we sez, "'bout 40 miles south of cape kennedy"
she sez, "i don't even know where cape kennedy is"
must have been an fsu student.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Dec 28 23:55:22 2004
Q: Why is a blonde snowman more difficult to make?
A: You have to hollow out the head.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Dec 29 08:37:40 2004
Okay, what's the difference between a blonde rocket scientist and
a brunett rocket scientist?
peroxide
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 30 16:43:37 2004
Gather round kiddies and lemmings. It's time to read Visitor's
ABC book.
A is for ass. See the drunken bum across the street in 12A? The
guy with no job, drinking Boone's Farm from a jelly jar, and
always wearing that dirty undershirt? He won't go get a job and
he owes me 3 months worth of rent. But the city hall politicos
won't let me throw the lazy bum out. He's an ass. And so are
the city hall politicos
B is beer. That's right kids. Beer is great. It comes in cans.
How many cans can you drink? 1? 2? 5? 19?
Ci is for Cocaine. The ho in 10A across the street, she pays me
cash every month for her rent. But she has more bugs crawling
in her blood than an ant hill. Where does she get her money?
Not from the guy in 12A. But I know where it all goes. That's
why she's so skinny and works from 9PM until sunrise.
D is for dust, angel dust. Ahhhh, that brings back memories.
E for elephant. If you see a pink elephant in your room, don't call
me. God, don't me.
(con't)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 30 16:51:17 2004
where was I? Oh yeah
F is for freak. Down the street is freak that lives in his
Chevette. He's got tatoos and scars and old cat. He is what we
call "shake your head" freaky. I don't go near him.
G is for God Damit the F'n Room is Spinning and I can't get to
the toilet and I think I gonna blow chunks all over the back
seat of your Gremlin. That's it. Now I remember. G is for Gremlin.
What an ugly ass car.
H is for ho. And not the kind that you use to dig in your garden.
Although last year they did find one ho burried in this guy's
garden a couple of blocks over. And we all wondered why his
tomatos were so good that summer.
I is for insects. They're crawling all over my buildings and the
lazy renters are always complaing. Well go out and buy yourself
a freakin can of raid. I got too much to do to come over and
squish a bug on the kitchen counter.
J is for Jerk. The ass in 12A that won't pay his rent is also a
jerk. He's also a few other choice words but I can't use them
(con't)
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 30 17:04:17 2004
since my lawyers says that's one of the reasons I can't just evict
him.
K is for Kimberly. She's sweet on me sometimes. But she's sweet
on anybody with a 3rd leg and job where you don't wear a paper hat.
She says she going to school at nights. Right. She's as dumb
as her sister. And her sister is dead.
L is Lite. As in Lite beer. You can drink more lite beer than
regular beer, but it costs the same as regular beer.
M is for money. Never forget that kids. Money money money.
Money makes the world go round. It pays your bills and get the
dancers at Larry's Dance Around to ride in lap.
N is for night. They all come out at night. So be careful at night
kids. Even I stay in at night.
O is for opium. Stay away from this kids. Unless your doc gives
you a little note and tells you to take that narcotic. then it's
legal and that makes it oooooooookay.
P is for Pee. Don't do it on my back wall in the ally like all the
bums. I had to get an air gun just to keep them away. Loosers.
(con't)
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Thu Dec 30 17:09:59 2004
Thu Dec 30 17:00 Harlot sector infected with bubonic plague thirty-one times
Do you need medical attention?
We have a crack medical staff with unused needles.
Shrek
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 30 17:11:28 2004
Q is for, uh, um, errrr, Q is for....
Ahhh, fuck it. I on't know what Q is for.
R is for rat. And not just any rat. A big f'n rat with a cock
10" long.
S is for Santa. Listen closely kids. There is no Santa. There.
Somebody had to tell you. And there's no freakin Easter bunny
or virgin blonde either.
T is for Tea. You know how much Jack Daniels you can hide in a
tall glass of Tea?
U if ugly. The old lady that lives above the liquor store is so
ugly her kids taught her to bend way over and walk backwards. Oh
man is she ugly. She's got this hair growing out of a mole on her
neck and... (uuuuuu)
V is for Vermouth. never, ever drink vermouth kids. It just kills
the taste of the gin.
W is for Willie's. Willie's is the place where I hang out. You
can buy beer after hours, meet business women, play cards in the back
or place bets on the game. Oh, you can shoot pool and drink beer
there too. You just need to know the password.
(con't)
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Thu Dec 30 17:12:49 2004
Q is for Quarantine, which is what certain countries have no clue how to handle the
Plague Pandemic.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Thu Dec 30 17:16:03 2004
X is for Xylophone because X is always for xylophone.
Y is for Yvonne. One day Yvonne is going to leave that curtain
open just a bit too much and I'm gonna get my telephoto lens out
and....
Um, yeah, Y is definitly for Yvonne.
Z if Zima. Zima is crap kids. Don't drink it. It's for people
that think they're too good for beer. Nobody's too good for beer.
Not even Yvonne. If I ever catch you drinking Zima, you won't be
able to come over to my place anymore. You got that? No Zima.
Just beer. (Or the stuff that comes in the 5th sized bottles that
you parents keep locked up. Feel free to bring all that over
since they don't really want it. that is why they keep it locked
up anyway.)
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Thu Dec 30 21:43:47 2004
Double, double, toile and trouble;
Fire burne, and Cauldron bubble.
Fillet of the FarAway Snake,
In the Cauldron boyle and bake:
Eye of Newt, and Toe of Frogge,
Wooll of Bat, and Tongue of Dogge:
Adders Forke, and Blinde-wormes Sting,
Lizards legge, and Harlots wing:
For a Charme of powrefull trouble,
Like a Hell-broth, boyle and bubble.
Double, double, toyle and trouble,
Fire burne, and Cauldron bubble.
Scale of Dragon, Tooth of Wolfe,
Witches Mummey, Maw, and Gulfe
Of the rauin'd salt Sea sharke:
Roote of Hemlocke, digg'd i'th' darke:
Liuer of Blaspheming Iew,
Gall of Goate, and Slippes of Yew,
Sliuer'd in the Moones Ecclipse:
Nose of Turke, and Tartars lips:
Finger of Birth-strangled Babe,
Ditch-deliuer'd by a Drab,
Make the Grewell thicke, and slab.
Adde thereto a Tigers Chawdron,
For th' Ingredience of our Cawdron.
Double, double, toyle and trouble,
Fire burne, and Cauldron bubble.
Coole it with a beep's blood,
Then the Charme is firme and good.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Fri Dec 31 11:49:18 2004
Current reports suggest that at least 125K persons died in the tsunami
disaster, and some projections reach 200K. Apparently, many of the worst hit
areas are still not accessible, and the tropical rains in the affected areas
have effectively cut off or severely retarded aid efforts.
If any epidemics break out in affected areas, it is likely the death counts
will rise even further. In many of these areas, cholera and other water-
born diseases are endemic.
Happy New Year to all.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Fri Dec 31 20:56:46 2004
}FarFarAway seized nine sectors from Harlot
it's about time one of you wankers gets enough balls
to go in for a sniff of Harlot's panties.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Fri Dec 31 21:22:57 2004
Happy New Year All!
More blood and carnage on the other side...
-WarHarpy
> Announcement from beep, (#14) dated Fri Dec 31 22:51:27 2004
eww... a gentleman doesn't do that to a lady, even if the term
opportunity to rip the panties away at the appropriate *gasp*squeal*giggle*
moment and discard them. (if a few pubic hairs happen to be included then it would
be a not so subtle reminder that the shaven or at least 'manicured' look is
definitly 'in'). a true gentleman would then gently probe the promised land for both
the pleasure of the lady and to check for lesions, genital viriforms, and tiny crawling
insects. a true gentleman always places his cell phone in reach where a surreptitious
punch of a button can generate an ersatz call whereby he can without lose of face to either
party politely extricate himself from the proposition of banging a skank who hasn't
washed her ass since she entered puberty.
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Sat Jan 01 02:19:17 2005
So many Houres, must I tend my Flocke;
So many Houres, must I take my Rest:
So many Houres, must I Contemplate:
So many Houres, must I Sport my selfe:
So many Dayes, my Ewes haue bene with yong:
So many weekes, ere the poore Faraway Fooles will Eane:
So many yeares, ere I shall sheere the Sheep's Fleece:
So Minutes, Houres, Dayes, Monthes, and Yeares,
Past ouer to the end they were created,
Would bring white haires, vnto a Quiet graue.
Ah! what a life were this? How sweet? how louely?
Giues not the Hawthorne bush a sweeter shade
To Shepheards, looking on their silly Sheepe,
Then doth a rich Imbroider'd Canopie
To Kings, that feare their Subiects treacherie?
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Sat Jan 01 02:41:48 2005
Truly pathetic! Got nothing better to do than to haxor
on each other while much partying SHOULD be going on?
Go get drunk you idiots! What are you, panty sniffing
wankers?
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sat Jan 01 10:57:01 2005
Please, don't give them ideas. They don't need ideas. (See previous day's
postings.)
> Announcement from Blog, (#44) dated Sat Jan 01 16:41:48 2005
You know what would make for a great start to everyone's year?
How about sending a letter to an old friend, or keeping a journal
of what's going on in your countries. *hint*
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Mon Jan 03 08:17:17 2005
While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a sheep
Cowboy: Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?
Indian: Dog no speek
CB: Hey dog, how's it going?
Dog: It's going alright
The indian is in total shock
CB: Is this your owner (pointing to the indian)
Dog: Yup
CB: How's he treat you?
Dog: Real well. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the
lake once a week to play
CB: Mind if I talk to your horse? (asking indian)
Indian: Horse no talk
CB: Hey horse, how's it going?
Horse: It's cool
The indian is in total shock
CB: Is this your owner (pointing to the indian)
Horse: Yup
CB: How's he treat you?
Horse: Pretty well, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often,
and keeps me in a shed to protect me Indian has a look of total amazement
CB: Mind if I talk to your sheep?
Indian: Sheep a liar
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Mon Jan 03 22:06:22 2005
Now that it is a new year, it is time for a new PZ3 contest! Listen
up kiddies, as this contest is a bit more involved than just picking
a bunch of numbers for the island distribution ratios. This contest
is called, "Ascii that Sheep". Here's the situation:
Wolfpack has expressed interest to me in the idea of adding "info sheep"
to the server base as an info page. The current "info sheep", in its
original format as seen here in the Petting Zoo, contains some ascii art
which has some copyright issues. Thus, we want to remove any possible
copyright infringement violations, and yet still have some ascii arts in
the "info sheep" info page, so I am calling upon my faithful followers
to draw original ascii artwork which will be submitted to wolfpack as
potential material to be forever immortalized as the picture behind the
meaning for when newbies ask, "what's with all the sheep references?".
And by original artwork, I mean completely original, you cannot slightly
or partially or mostly alter existing ascii sheeps (and don't try to
slip one thru, as let me tell you, I have been combing the web for years
in search of the perfect virgin wool for, uh, a friend...)
To enter your submission, send a telegram to your deity, Bungholio or Ski,
(it was actually Ski's idea, that sicko (LOL), to have players draw up the
ascii sheeps) with your ascii art submissions. I.A.N.A.L. All entries
become the property of the empire community, and your submission is your
intent to release your personal works for the good of our community and it
may and/or will be then used in the "info sheep" documentation provided
and released within the empire server package. If your submission is
approved by Wolfpack as official ascii artwork for "info sheep", your
submission can be initialized/signed with your handle to immortalize your
empirescence.
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Tue Jan 04 08:49:21 2005
Does it have to be one sheep, or can it be two sheep?
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Jan 04 09:10:49 2005
Small thinker! I'll make a heard of 'em...
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Jan 04 09:53:34 2005
'herd' I mean.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Tue Jan 04 12:29:56 2005
another shagger joke
A missionary (that a person, Leut, not a position) heads to the
remotest, deepest part of Africa to start a church in a backwater
village and help bring them into the 21st century. The locals
are very very guarded and it takes years for him to gain their
trust.
But after a while, the missionary becomes part of the community.
He helps build a school, a clinic, and a church. The elders even
ask him to sit in on their communitiy meetings.
One thing the missionary consantly harps on is morality and fidelity.
The villagers buy into this idea much more slowly than they do
other concepts but after so many years of watching him and his
chaste life, they start to come around.
Then one day a woman in the village gives birth to a baby. That
would normally have been a reason to celebrate in the village but
the baby was albino - no pigment anywhere on the body.
The village chief confronts the missionary
(con't)
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Tue Jan 04 12:35:16 2005
"All these years, you have preached fidelity and morality. and
now a white child is born. And you are the only white man that
has been here for years. What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Chief, the baby is not a white baby, it's an albino. I've stayed
pure since I've been here."
"I don't know what albino means. But I know that that is your
baby. And all the trust we placed in you..."
The missionary thinks for a minute, trying to figure out how to
explain the concept of an albino to the chief. Then he gets an
idea and goes to the window in his hut. He points out the window
to the flock of sheep in the pasture.
"Chief, look, see all those sheep. They are all white. But see
that one black sheep out there. It's just like that with an
albino baby, but opposite."
The chief thinks for a few seconds then says "Okay, I'll make a
deal with you. I won't say anything about you and the child and
you don't say anything about me and the sheep."
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Jan 04 13:20:08 2005
You can have as many sheep as you like.
One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, four...
Draw a whole herd, it's your chance to score.
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Jan 04 14:07:33 2005
"An Expose on the Jolly Green Giant (ho ho ho)"
So why is he jolly?
Well, first, and obviously, he is green. That's green as in
money. He's got a lot of money. They say that money doesn't buy
happiness. Well fu*% whoever they are. A lo of money will make
you jolly.
Next, he is a giant. Now, I have seen those little cans of corn
and plastic bags of peas in the freezer section. He's not that
tall. So he's not that kind of a gaint. He must be a giant in
some other physical area which leads me to believe that the green
guy is incredibly well hung. (Study his attire to re-inforce
this theory.)
So he's rich and well hung. Two reasons to be jolly. And there
are three more reasons that he's jolly
Ho Ho Ho
The man keeps three fine honey's all for himself. And he's got
the coin to keep them off the streets and getting their blood
tainted. And rumor has it that Mrs. Giant doesn't mind, and she
even runs the video camera sometimes.
and that's why he's the Jolly Green Giant
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Jan 04 22:56:38 2005
I'm looking for some good recipies. Particularly, ones for
"Carnage Stew", "Carnage Goulage", "Carnage Pizza", or even
"Boiled Carnage Foot with Cabbage". Post recipes here.
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Tue Jan 04 22:58:38 2005
There you are, Bungholio!!
Ey seek the balm.
The backdoor balm.
Where maye I finde it?
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Jan 04 22:59:58 2005
Look in the yellow pages under "butt paste"
(yes, this is a real product)
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Jan 04 23:27:22 2005
Ok, WTF. I just checked THREE telephone books for "butt paste"
in the yellow pages. NOTHING. it goes from butchers/butlers to
cabinets.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Jan 04 23:28:21 2005
Leave it to our illustrious data to actually *look* in
the yellow pages.
<shakes head in dismay>
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Jan 04 23:28:45 2005
That's deity. Not data. I don't think our deity is an android :-)
> Announcement from Terminator, (#42) dated Tue Jan 04 23:33:36 2005
I am a cybernetic organism, not an android.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Jan 04 23:49:33 2005
Purely for our deity's entertainment - proof of the existence
of this product:
http://www.buttpaste.com/
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Tue Jan 04 23:53:03 2005
Now, ey wante to apply this ointment.
liberally.
Most liberally.
Bungholio hathe used this balm on many victimes.
How shall ey apply the ointment?
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Fri Jan 07 12:13:23 2005
So this guy is on a ship that gets hit by a major storm in the
south pacific and finds himself climbing up on the beach of a
deserted island. the only other survivors from the shipwreck
are a male pit bull terrier and a female sheep.
After a long time on the island (Bungy, define "long time" for us)
the guy starts looking at the sheep with "romantic intentions".
But every time he starts to move towards the sheep, the pit bull
jumps in between them and snarls and barks and snaps his teeth.
the man can't get near the ewe.
this goes on for a while and the guy is really depressed. As he is
walking the beach one day, he notices a small raft drifting on the
ocean. He swims out and pulls it to shore. Inside a woman that is
near death. the man nurses her back to life and when she is recovered
realizes she is young, built, and beautiful. She is also very
grateful to him for saving her life. "Is there ANYTHING I can do
to show my appreciation?"
"Sure, go take my dog for a walk."
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Fri Jan 07 14:58:58 2005
A young man moves to a village in Wales and gets talking
to an old man from the village. He asks the old man what
his name is; the old man gets very irate at this point
and says: "See that line of houses over there? I built
them all, but do they call me Jones the house builder? Do
they hell! See those railway lines over there? I laid
them all, but do they call me Jones the engineer? Do they
hell! See those bridges over that river? I built them all,
but do they call me Jones the bridge builder? Do they hell
But, a long long time ago, I shagged *one* sheep..."
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Jan 08 02:36:25 2005
"Genteman callers" from the front back and side,
and still wearing my chastity belt.
Wouldn't Momma be so proud.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Sat Jan 08 11:08:23 2005
And this update's winner of the coveted "Condoms? I don't
need no stinkin' condoms!" award for the fourth time running
goes to Harlot;
Sat Jan 08 11:01 Harlot citizens die from bubonic plague twenty-nine times
Sat Jan 08 11:01 Harlot sector infected with bubonic plague twelve times
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Jan 08 11:14:12 2005
Yea, these dirty blokes get tired of abusing their sheep
and then come a knockin' at me knickers.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Sat Jan 08 11:15:22 2005
Maybe you're so old (gray hairs) and so hairy, your
back side looks like a sheep?
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sat Jan 08 23:32:54 2005
I remember how it used to be
You never were this nice
You can't fool me
Now you talkin'
Like you made a change
The more you talk
The more things sound the same
What makes you think
You can just walk back
Into her life
Without a good fight
I just sit back
And watch you make a fool of yourself
You're just wasting your time
No, you're never gonna get it,
never ever gonna get it,
my lovin'
No, you're never gonna get it,
never ever gonna get it,
my lovin'
No, you're never gonna get it,
But don't stop trying...
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Sun Jan 09 00:05:28 2005
J! E! T! S!
JETS! JETS! JETS! JETS!!!!!!!!!!!
> Announcement from Dorsai!, (#1) dated Sun Jan 09 16:01:00 2005
I guess Harlot and me finally have something in common
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Mon Jan 10 06:23:55 2005
I trust it was as good for you as it was for me.
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Mon Jan 10 22:13:36 2005
yes it felt good.
Takes 2 to have such fun!
> Announcement from PlagueLand, (#6) dated Tue Jan 11 00:28:53 2005
There is no more problem with chastity belt ? Let's enjoy with Harlot ;)
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Tue Jan 11 02:26:01 2005
unfortunately we caught the nasty plague from our little tangle with the Harlot
> Announcement from PlagueLand, (#6) dated Tue Jan 11 09:25:45 2005
Did you use condom? Playing with Harlot is very dangerous
without protection..
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Tue Jan 11 12:02:14 2005
Come on RapedbyFFA, cough up that 10$ and clear your account
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Jan 11 16:25:46 2005
Just incase if anyone needs a little pick-me-up:
http://www.lawsonland.com/petting-zoo-pics/petting-zoo-animals/shaved_sheep.jpg
http://www.lawsonland.com/petting-zoo-pics/petting-zoo-animals/lambs2.jpg
http://www.lawsonland.com/petting-zoo-pics/petting-zoo-animals/bottlt%20lambs.jpg
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Tue Jan 11 16:56:31 2005
I sure could use a new pick-me up.
These guys are getting really rough.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Jan 11 17:27:02 2005
Harlot, they're not getting any rougher than normal.
The pain is from the scabs ripping off your plague-infested ...
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Tue Jan 11 18:26:39 2005
sigh.
It all goes back to that quickie with Beep who
insisted upon cutting in while I was dancing
with Anguiron. We were both drunk and I was stupid
enough to believe him with no condom while he insisted
he was "clean." Should have known better than to trust
a carrion crawler.
It only got worse when we had a late night tryst with
Nova. The only protection carried in his wallet was vials
of biological weapons.
Then Partimers and FarFarAway offered to help and
send much needed medicine for the pestilence
ravaging our peoples. Their cargo ships were
followed by battlecruisers and the relief drops
turned out to be tonnages of ordinance instead
of food and vaccines.
Momma always said never trust any man.
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Tue Jan 11 22:25:11 2005
We have shagged enough sheep so:
The countries of FarFarAway (BlackBox) and Partimers
declare themselves as winners. We control over half the
Petting Zoo world now. Our trustworthy ally beep
deserves honorable mention for his support.
The normal routine is a 24 hour period to either
agree or object.....
Shrek
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Tue Jan 11 22:38:25 2005
Hmmm...
How about a 24 hour ceasefire while we consider you terms?
> Announcement from FarFarAway, (#7) dated Tue Jan 11 22:41:24 2005
Sorry no terms....
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Tue Jan 11 22:53:25 2005
I have ceased coming on to anyone,
but will still resist untoward advances.
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Tue Jan 11 23:01:22 2005
As the Harlot has seen the error of her ways, Partimers
extends the olive branch of peaceful coexistance
in the formerly contentious world.
Harlot, come to us. I'll bring the bubbly.
We have mutually declared a new friendship
PT
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Tue Jan 11 23:02:33 2005
I formally accept the winners' declaration.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Jan 11 23:03:46 2005
Leutonia formally accepts the winners' declaration.
We're happy with our outcome. Came from 2nd to last
after taking over this nation to finishing 6th! :)
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Jan 11 23:04:53 2005
Ooo! Almost too late to the party, but ULKH squeezes out a
victory in the last "Condoms? We don't need no stinkin'
Condoms!" contest this update!
Tue Jan 11 23:01 eighteen times ULKH reports outbreak of the black plague
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Tue Jan 11 23:05:25 2005
now that there is a win declaration, i believe that means all
NA's are officially considered nullified... you have been warned!
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Jan 11 23:06:00 2005
Does that mean I can attack FFA now? ;)
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Tue Jan 11 23:13:07 2005
I will leave the update enabled until the WinDec timeout period
expires, so plan on having the next update, unless we have no
contesters.
Meanwhile, I have a ton of data parsings to do. I been collecting
'power' charts, 'report *'s, and 'cen * ?des#.' (for maps) every
update.
Now could be a good time for you guys to reflect on your game experiences
and send some chatter to the Blog.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Tue Jan 11 23:54:28 2005
And ato think I got all this beauty sleep,
spent so much time prettying myself up and
invented excuses to juggle all my dates for tonite...
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Tue Jan 11 23:56:47 2005
hehehehe huhhuhu hehe she said "juggle"
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Jan 12 00:09:51 2005
Souvenir lace garters for everyone who made it to finish!
Of course the 2 big guys get half the pair with gold trim.
Shakespeare gets my silk thong.
Special fishnet knickers for sexy Partimers.
My soiled undies from the last cycle of "the curse" for Beep.
And a flock of virgin ewe for Bungy!
Thanks for the memories guys.
Ladies are better than sheep.
Though there will be other lives and loves,
We'll always have PZIII.
> Announcement from ULKH, (#12) dated Wed Jan 12 09:05:04 2005
ULKH, aka Union of Linux Kernel Hackers, conceeds defeat.
May all your BSOD's be infrequent...
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Wed Jan 12 15:45:51 2005
so we finally learn what ULKH stands for!
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Wed Jan 12 21:20:09 2005
re: #7 says: we control over half the PZ world
ehem...
BlackBox 470
Partimers 415
-----
885
worldwide 1.9K
last I checked, 885/1900 = 0.4658
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Wed Jan 12 21:20:55 2005
::ULKH, aka Union of Linux Kernel Hackers
That's the best you can do? All the great suggestions and
that' all you come up with?
What about Ukulele Lovers Killing Halitosis
or Unbridled Liverwurst & Kraut Haters
or Utopia? Like Kangaroos Have!
or Ubagatti, Litterman, & Kooliwatta; He-men
or Uberman Leapt Kindling Houses
or Union Lackies Killed Hooverville
or Under Lamborginis, Kelly Hugs
or Umpire, Lempire, Kempire, Hempire (we'll force this 1 to work)
or Unfortuanetly Larry Kept Hives
We could go on all day with this and I think around #1,567 we
would get to something that resembled Linux and Hacker.
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Wed Jan 12 22:47:58 2005
Dear Visitor,
Perhaps Blackbox mispoke (typed). Perhaps he could
have swapped the last two sentences in the first
paragraph.
I believe he was including beep sectors in terms of
territorial control.
1070/1900, you have a calculator, figure it out.
R of Partimers
doesn't matter, time's up.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Wed Jan 12 23:05:07 2005
PZ3 is now officially declared over, and won by FarFarAway and
Partimers. Congrats all around to the winners. And a well-done
thumbs up to the other survivors, only 7 of the original 18 made
it to endgame!
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Wed Jan 12 23:05:38 2005
And as the PettingZooThree game is winding down, I'd now
like to pass out a "players survey" to everyone. I'd
like to get you all to complete these forms and submit
to "empire_bungholio@verizon.net" or "telegram 0" by
18:00 Friday, Jan 14th. Answers can be anything from a
"N/A, "1-10" scale (10=best/0=worst), to a short essay.
I'm just looking for some feedback, and I plan to compile
the (annonymous) answers into the end game report.
1) How did you enjoy the game overall
1a) fun?
1b) playability?
2) Game Setup
2a) Double Civs - did you like the double civs start & 20% civ growth?
2b) Resources - did you like the flat resources?
2c) Resources - how was the qty of iron/dust/oil?
2d) Map layout - world size?
2e) Map layout - types / varieties of start continents?
2f) Map layout - player placements as in fairness of distribution?
2g) Map layout - expansion islands, more / less / variety?
2h) Map layout - expansion islands, too close / too far / too tough?
2i) Tech - tech was log 3.00 with 80% bleed, too fast / slow?
2j) Units - liked / disliked the mobility mods & slower eff growth &
did the reduced mob & eff growth effect your invasions or defenses?
2k) Planes - liked / disliked the mobility mods & did the reduced
mob effect your invasions or defenses?
2l) Market/Trade - did you use the Market/Trade?
2m) Market/Trade - what did you think of the 10Hour times to complete
the sale and 10% taxes?
3) Micromanagement
3a) too much or too little?
3b) did you like nofood?
3c) did plague have any effect?
3c) approx how much time per update were you spending on country
management?
3d) did rollover avail help or hurt?
4) Update Schedule
4a) too fast / too slow?
4b) convenient / inconvenient time(s) of day?
4c) do you prefer fixed or rolling updates?
5) The Game
5a) what "rock"/"paper"/"scissors" did you chose and how did it
work out?
5b) how did you like the 4 starting sanctuaries?
5c) did you get your economy off to a good start?
5d) how did you do on initial expansion?
5e) how did you like/dislike the Terminator defenses?
5f) did you focus on tech, expansion, both, neither, or other?
5g) how did you do with diplomacy?
5h) any connection issues, server bugs, or deity issues?
6) Additional Comments
Thanks!
Bungy
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Fri Jan 14 10:18:00 2005
Harlot, the retired hooker. Penniless and scabby.
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Fri Jan 14 11:05:14 2005
(coming on for duty at the shift change)
It seems that business at the carwash has been slow
recently, and it looks like this place may be closing down
down soon. So, rather than wait until it's too late, I
would like to say a few things...
Speaking for myself (the others of the Crew can chip in
their thoughts) I would like to thank the deity for
plotting out and running another interesting game. As it
turned out we ended up ok, but it would have been nice
to be placed in proximity of a little more clover and
a little less brambles. ;)
Congratulation to the schizophrenic BlackBox, who in their
dual-personality mode of Shrek and Donkey as FFA seemed
to suit their mood better, but in the end reverted to the
mother country. They took advantage of their geography
and a hearty "well done" to them for their efforts. I thank
them for their alliance, allowing Partimers to concentrate
on important tasks at hand.
Applause to the Harlot for running a strong
country, who should have known that her past would soon
catch up with her. You can only flirt with so many before
someone gets upset.
I want to thank beep for being a strong economic ally. I
also want to thank the Bard for his his honor and
conduct with his handling of the regional diplomacy.
But most of all, I want to thank the rest of the Partimers
crew, D, M, and W, all of whom without we would not have
been able to even play this game.
When the game was announced, we all had a twinge
of regret knowing that we would not have been able to
participate in this game, alone or even with one other.
Putting together a team of part-time rulers allowed
all of us to participate. There was no "top" ruler.
For me, the ability to be involved is almost more
important than the result.
For those keeping score at home, W and D did a ton of work,
I got to go along for the ride. M did his share too,
except for that 14 day holiday... ;). This shows the
value of a team. Until the next game..."adios amoeba".
R of the Partimers
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Fri Jan 14 11:12:53 2005
Just an observation:
- = [ Empire Power Report ] = -
as of Fri Jan 14 11:09:34 2005
sects eff civ mil shell gun pet iron dust oil pln ship unit money
BlackBox 470 98% 379K 26K 23K 3.5K 27K 45K 2.3K 6.1K 480 350 320 10K
Partimers 415 96% 315K 18K 22K 1.6K 12K 26K 1.8K 817 376 214 171 125K
Shakespea 350 96% 285K 25K 24K 2.7K 31K 30K 2.1K 8.3K 490 280 330 80K
Harlot 245 91% 183K 20 11K 1.9K 25K 64K 1.3K 6.3K 0 0 0 -50K
beep 180 100% 151K 11K 12K 1.4K 20K 14K 500 3.5K 290 210 120 65K
Leutonia 150 82% 114K 6.6K 11K 1.8K 7.5K 21K 300 6.8K 90 70 100 3.8K
ULKH 95 96% 82K 4.4K 6.2K 540 8.6K 11K 350 550 150 70 50 5.0K
Raistmich 0 0% 0 100 17 5 0 0 0 0 0 5 0 35K
Tiki 0 0% 0 27 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 25K
Johnnylan 0 0% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 5.0K
Anguiron 0 0% 0 10 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0 2.6K
RapedByFF 0 0% 0 25 0 5 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 -244
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
worldwide 1.9K 95% 1.5M 92K 109K 14K 131K 211K 8.5K 32K 1.9K 1.2K 1.1K 255K
It appears to me that mil and units are underweighted in
report calculations, the Harlot hanging in at #4 with no
units and 20 mil :)
Perhaps a revisit to the formula would be in order
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Fri Jan 14 11:20:32 2005
Not at all. Harlot has 32k more civs than beep. Also 50k more iron.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Fri Jan 14 11:48:33 2005
...and I'm cuter than beep too!
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Fri Jan 14 12:05:36 2005
Here's also *few* thank yous from my part..
Thanks to the Deities for a great game :)
Thanks to Shrek and Donkey for good co-operation
throughout the game.
Thanks to beep for providing harbors to our
tradeships.
Thanks to Shakes for an honorable game, I was
worried about you since the early moments but
my worries proved out to be needless.
Thanks to Harlot for the final resistance!
Thanks to every one for playing!
Hope to see you all in a new game one of these days :)
And last but definitely not least I do also
want to thank the Partimers crew - this game would
not have been possible without all of you!
D of Partimers
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Fri Jan 14 12:21:53 2005
From Leutonia...
Not at all. Harlot has 32k more civs than beep. Also 50k more iron.
.....
I'll be sure to steer clear of "iron rich" countries
in the future, their power will be too much for me :)
.....
seriously...does Harlot in their current form represent
a "threat" to anyone, versus "target" to all, I would
suggest that there is "power" and there is "potential"
A lot of civs and iron is a lot of potential, but without
the mil and units to back it up (and I suppose the
ability to use those mil and units) does the power
chart reflect power?
Not that I have given this a whole lot of thought (37
seconds at last count) but this power report struck me
as being just a tad misleading, even after all these
years
R
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Fri Jan 14 14:42:53 2005
power report has always been misleading. Maybe if it was
based on tech factor and not just tech, that might help. But really,
what makes a country have the potential to project power? Sectors
with people in them, mostly. There rest is just stuff mades with
the output of those people (with the exception of bars, the gift
that keeps on giving)
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Fri Jan 14 15:13:33 2005
Harlot suffered a lot of plague during this game. That must have hurt.
I wonder if she would like to share some of her experience with us.
Not physically, of course, but to describe its effect on her, and whether it
contributed to her downfall Some of the gory details would be nice!
W of Partimers.
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Fri Jan 14 16:20:33 2005
Most of the plague I was subjected to was isolated in a small fleet
with several near empty units. the other major area hit was the
Nova island and that helped in that area by killing off all those
che_wanna_be's
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Fri Jan 14 16:22:04 2005
And where the hell are those 2 tiki ships? ( know where the
anguiron ships are, I was just waiting for him to go broke and
then I could watch him fall off the power chart like Nova)
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Fri Jan 14 16:24:31 2005
The Tiki ships are probably subs. I've not run across
them in any sweeps or sonars though.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Fri Jan 14 16:24:45 2005
Deity:
Please post a report * and a deity view power chart please.
> Announcement from BlackBox, (#7) dated Fri Jan 14 16:27:20 2005
Plague is usually just a nuisance which can be managed.
This game it was like Bungy was choosing the sector to
infect. Three times I had a harbor infected the update
prior to invasion force being built or leaving, causing
some delays.
Could not get at mil or cms in infected harbor.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Fri Jan 14 16:58:22 2005
Looking at 'info plague' should give some answers.
It is often the case that people have stockpiles of iron and oil
in their distribution sectors. Problem; these both significantly
contribute to plague chance.
It is also often the case that people have overages of UWs sitting
in distribution points. This is even worse, as if you have say 3,000
UWs in the warehouse, plague chance is checked BEFORE the population
is truncated. Also, mil and civs contribute the same to plague chance
that UWs do.
Lastly, a little known aspect to plague generation is that the lower
the mobility of a sector, the greater the chance of plague outbreak.
All of the above things are characteristics of distribution points.
The original coders of plague knew this I suspect.
Here in Leutonia, we developed a spreadsheet to show us plague chance
for all sectors in our country. This helped us minimize the potential
trouble spots. As a result, we suffered from plague only slightly.
> Announcement from BlackBox, (#7) dated Fri Jan 14 18:03:50 2005
We use WinAce which also shows plague risk %.
In our 3 cases each harbor contained 0 iron and no unusually
large anounts of anything else. The risk % was in fact less than 1% in each case.
Just a matter of bad luck each time I suppose. The mobility may have been lower,
dont remember that one.
> Announcement from Shakespeare, (#11) dated Fri Jan 14 19:27:42 2005
Diplo was a little strange for me this game. I ended up with
three Partimers islands next to the open end of the scissors
on my home island, where I had most of my bars. So when
Pters offered a three update NA, I was glad to accept it. Later
on in the game, I had 4000 bars on that island. I felt I couldn't
risk ending my NA with Partimers.
beep didn't muscle in on the Johnnyland kill, which surprised
me as muscling in on kills is beep's modus operendi. I kept a strong defensive
orientation as I made progress on that start island, which also bordered FFA. I
kept that defensive orientation but no attack ever happened.
PCLL went down fast. The speed with which he went down surprised Harlot and I quite
a bit. All my forces were oriented on the other side of my world, and I wasn't in a
position to help. I don't feel very positive about not helping PCLL.
But the real surprise for me was how FFA ignored ULKH.
FFA only took a couple expansion ULKH islands, and then he
ignored ULKH. It seemed that ULKH was such a logical next
move. I was waiting to pounce but that opportunity never
presented itself.
To simplify the analysis of this game, FFA and Partimers
got bigger faster. That was it, in my view.
Shakespeare
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Fri Jan 14 21:40:53 2005
Below are the final Power and Reports. I am still busy compiling the data
into tons of graphs and animated "map *"'s. It will be a few more days
until my final report is ready for release.
-Bungy
power new - = [ Empire Power Report ] = -
as of Tue Jan 11 23:17:30 2005
sects eff civ mil shell gun pet irn dust oil pln ship unit money
FarFarAwa 469 98% 379K 27K 24K 3.5K 27K 45K 2.2K 6.1K 494 355 326 14K 32064.99
Partimers 411 96% 315K 19K 22K 1.6K 12K 26K 1.8K 817 368 235 171 32K 25183.40
Harlot 283 96% 213K 15K 19K 3.0K 33K 79K 1.4K 13K 533 195 161 6.9K 24349.61
Shakespea 350 98% 292K 25K 24K 2.8K 32K 33K 2.3K 9.5K 496 284 321 81K 24303.62
beep 187 100% 158K 11K 12K 1.5K 20K 14K 510 3.5K 290 196 128 69K 13674.77
Leutonia 103 100% 96K 7.1K 14K 1.6K 3.4K 14K 290 1.7K 91 80 100 4.6K 9116.96
ULKH 99 100% 88K 4.6K 7.5K 597 12K 11K 371 569 162 75 53 5.9K 7860.57
Raistmich 0 0% 0 84 17 6 0 0 0 0 0 5 0 34K 133.20
Tiki 0 0% 0 27 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 27K 78.66
Johnnylan 0 0% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 5.2K 12.36
Anguiron 0 0% 0 10 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0 2.6K 7.33
RapedByFF 0 0% 0 47 0 5 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 -244 5.60
---- --- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- --- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
worldwide 1.9K 98% 1.5M 110K 123K 15K 141K 222K 8.9K 36K 2.4K 1.4K 1.3K 225K
report *as of Tue Jan 11 23:17:31 2005
# name tech research education happiness capital
1 Dorsai! 159.90 58.84 0.44 0.00 -97,-3
2 Harlot 206.99 58.84 14.93 0.00 -7,-1
3 wales 136.80 61.91 0.19 0.00 -82,32
4 Raistmiche 162.02 58.84 0.77 0.00 -72,-32
5 Anguiron 107.62 58.84 0.01 0.00 32,20
6 PlagueLand 174.88 58.84 0.81 0.02 -46,-22
7 FarFarAway 200.93 81.11 18.43 9.63 -36,-54
8 Tiki 133.66 58.84 0.08 0.00 70,2
9 Johnnyland 118.46 58.84 0.02 0.00 -101,49
10 PCLoadLetter 179.84 96.92 3.51 0.62 31,-23
11 Shakespeare 185.80 117.20 18.03 3.47 73,-21
12 ULKH 204.52 109.80 24.21 15.42 -73,-1
13 EmpireKing 134.56 58.84 0.06 0.00 34,-24
14 beep 193.84 58.84 21.90 0.00 74,38
15 RapedByFFA 124.40 58.84 0.01 0.00 6,34
16 Sunnydale 159.41 58.84 0.43 0.00 -44,12
17 Partimers 201.75 82.50 18.61 15.02 39,53
18 Leutonia 198.30 116.45 21.06 16.88 104,18
> Announcement from BlackBox, (#7) dated Fri Jan 14 23:14:02 2005
After taking some triangle islands from ULKH, which
did put us in position for an attack on his main island,
we decided ULKH was no threat to us and wanted to
help concentrate on Harlot with Partimers.
Harlot was the tech leader and seemed to be allowing
himself to be attacked as he had few land units.
Attacking Harlot ended the game quicker, reason for
going after her rather than ULKH.
Beside, like she says, much prettier.
> Announcement from BlackBox, (#7) dated Sat Jan 15 01:35:45 2005
=== Foreign Affairs ===
Sat Jan 15 01:34 BlackBox sacks Harlot capital
C'mere babe ;-)
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Sat Jan 15 18:17:21 2005
we were also surprised at how fast PCLL went down. Our attack on him was earlier
than planned, and consequently our forces were not fully set up for the attack.
But once things started, there was minimal resistance, so we pushed on.
We were very surprised that no assistance was given to PC, as we thought that the
2 power blocks were roughly equal in size before PC went down. By letting him go
down, the balance of power was clearly tilted in favor of FFA/Partimers/Bee
What was also surprising, was that we were able to push on after eliminating PC,
and enter Harlot through the back door. Not that any of the Partimers are in favor
of rear entry, but hell, there was a hole there, so we probed and then entered in force!
I think a serious effort should have been made to stop us in PC. Once we got into
Harlot's outer islands the game was won.
> Announcement from Partimers, (#17) dated Sun Jan 16 09:44:08 2005
"Rollover", said the King to the Queen.
"I'll be fucked if I do".
"You'll be corn-holed if you don't".
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Mon Jan 17 06:55:49 2005
Looks like an evil deity decided to enable MOBACCESS, for those
hardcore lawnmowers to continue their fights to the death...
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Mon Jan 17 20:59:38 2005
ok, mobaccess has been disabled. for some reason it has been
causing the server severe CPU sully, and making it go into
100% utilization every time someone did a "land *" or "ship *"
type of command.
> Announcement from Leutonia, (#18) dated Mon Jan 17 21:24:23 2005
If it helps, some ships were not having their mob updated.
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Mon Jan 17 23:46:13 2005
An "almost done" PZ3 endgame report is up.
see: www.angelfire.com/empire2/bungholio/PettingZooThree_EndGameReport.html
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Tue Jan 18 08:35:31 2005
Hey, I still have sector left. What's wrong with you gang-bangers?
It's like beep has no blood in his loins
> Announcement from Harlot, (#2) dated Tue Jan 18 12:02:04 2005
(an oldie but a goodie)
"He's got me dead to rights Doc. Would you like to shoot me now
or wait till you get home?"
"SHOOT HIM NOW! SHOOT HIM NOW!"
"You keep outta this. He doesn't have to shoot you now."
"Well I say he does have to shoot me now. SO SHOOT ME NOW!"
(insert obligitory blam sound here)
> Announcement from Bungholio, (#0) dated Wed Jan 19 08:00:03 2005
The game will be shutting down later this afternoon (Wed Jan19th).
thanks everyone for playing!
-Bungy
> Announcement from visitor, (#45) dated Wed Jan 19 11:19:49 2005
Scissors win!!
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